The Snake, the Lies, the Escape
by SfoCrazy
Summary: Harry has decided he is leaving town and is given a helping hand by Sam. Establishing a life in America only to run again. He finds Hogwarts not his cup of tea but is forced back. How many times can you laugh in the face of Death while your friends stab you in the back.. Character bashing, character deaths, not book compliant. No Slash. Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

Harry has decided he is leaving town and is given a helping hand by Sam. Establishing a life in America only to run again and again. He finds Hogwarts not his cup of tea but is forced back. How many times can you laugh in the face of Death while your friends stab you in the back. Character bashing, character deaths, not book compliant. No Slash. Rated M.

This is defiantly Mature so be pre-warned. With 650,000 HP stories out there I have probably stepped on someone's toes, for that I apologize. I am having fun and it's addicting, so on with my attempt at writing or scribbling in my case. You get it as I write it and it's as fast as I can put the words down on the screen.

If you look past my grammar etc, you may find a story, then maybe not. This will contain lot of character bashing, character death and not book compliant.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. The original characters and plot are the property of the author i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. This work is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Not for sale or profit but hopefully the enjoyment of the reader.

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...^,,,^...^...^...^...^...^...^...^...^...^...^...^...^The Snake, the Lies, the Escape…^...^...^...^...^...^...^...

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Chapter 1-The Snake

I am not happy, the list of my grievances is long but no one cares. My happy family is arguing where they can dump me because they don't want me around. That argument is not new but ends with Vernon rips open my bedroom door and drags me into the garage and throws me in the back seat of their car. Dudley climbs in and gives me a smack to the head he is not happy that I must come with them to the zoo.

Once out of the car I am enjoying all the new sights. Some of the animals are terrifying, some are funny but I can not let the Dursley family get the idea that I am not faithfully following them. If they think I might get lost I might get beat when we get home.

Dudley and Vernon are trying to wake a large sleeping snake, they are yelling at it but it continues to sleeps. The snake says, "Stupid humans, what do they want to do talk with me about?"

"I would if they would let me." I said and the snake looks at me.

"You speak our language?" the snake hissed and I was going to reply when the pain came.

I found myself on the floor and my head hurts, it must have hit the brass railing on my way down to the floor. Since Dudley is now pounding on the glass I assume Dudley shoved or hit me, AGAIN! Glass cases around the room shattered followed closely by screams and people running out the door. I was about to join the exodus when a snake slithered over my leg and rose up and looked me in the eye.

"Please help me out of here, this place is driving me crazy." The snake hissed.

"How can I help?"

"Let me up your arm and I will hide around your body."

"I put my arm out and the snake curled round my arm and hid under my clothes. Of course a moose could hide in here with out much trouble. Dudley's hand-me-downs are quite fitting, a whale that is. I stood and hurried to catch up with the Dursley family.

"Boy! Where have you been? Vernon snatches my shirt and drags me out of the Zoo and shoves me into the rear seat of the car, I guess its back to normal.

/Scene Break/

No sooner then we entered the house I am thrown into the boot cupboard under the stairs. Vernon throws the bolt, which usually means that I will be here for a long while.

"Why do you put up with that huge pile of crap?" hissed the snake from underneath my shirt.

"I have no where else to go, I have no money for food so I am stuck here."

"What is your name young one?"

"They call me freak or boy but the school calls me Harry Potter."

"I though as much", hissed the snake. "You are the son of James Potter and the heir of the Potter fortune, so you have money."

"What is your name?" I asked.

"I have none, I just am."

"How do you know who I am?"

"While I am just a hatchling we snakes pass on our accumulated knowledge to our young at birth."

"I read a book at school about snakes and how would you like if I call you Nagas? You can call me Harry."

So it began. Harry and Nagas were locked in the cupboard under the stairs for two days, so they talked. Nagas told of the legend of "The boy who lived" and of Gringotts in a place called Diagon Alley. Nagas told of how the Goblins could most likely tell Harry much more than Nagas knew and might help him.

I finally got released from the locked cupboard and got the back yard to cut and clean. Dudley was out with his friends and Petunia was gossiping over the hedge. Vernon had left the list of chores before waddling off to work. I sneaked into Dudley's room and relieved him of his stash of money. I didn't feel bad as Dudley had ripped it off from the younger kids and had raided Petunias purse periodically.

We snuck out early the next morning knowing they would probably kill me if I had to return to the Dursley's. I just had to try to escape somehow. By mid morning I had taken the tube to London and had asked a million people if they knew Diagon Alley. No one knew and I was getting scared. I was asking the man who ran the meat market if he knew or could give me directions.

A weirdly dressed lady overheard my question and "Well hello dear, you need to get to Diagon Alley?"

"Yes mum, if you please."

"Well I need to get there myself, so if you want to tag along I can show you." And she did.

/Scene Break/

My first view of Diagon alley was 'What a weird place'. Then I saw a Goblin and just about pooped my pants. The lady, I now know was a witch and I was a wizard, she had explained how to deal with the Goblins. I was lucky that she did as the teller got upset when I said "What key?"

I was taken to the back of the bank and another Goblin did some strange stuff before I was given a key and taken to a vault. I am not a world traveler but cutting my hand to get a key? Then SharpKnife tells me I have a trust fault until I am of age. SharpKnife also informed me that my other vaults are off limits till I am of age. This doesn't apply to the Evans with three thousand Galleons or Slytherin vault with no money but makes me an adult. I am just about on information overload as I enter my trust vault but then I need information on what is this money? What's the conversion rate? How do I carry these Galleons around? As all this newer information is being tossed at me I spied a small table in the back and a letter on the table. This day was becoming more than I could handle and then I opened the letter to more problems.

Back in SharpKnife's office:

"Here is your credit card Harry, its good everywhere that takes credit cards."

"Thanks SharpKnife you have been a great help. Can you tell me where they keep the prophesies in the Ministry. My parents left a letter that tells me to get this Prophesy?"

"Ministry of Magic, Hall of Prophesies in the Department of Ministry."

SharpKnife could give me direction but said for a fee he could have a Goblin escort me. I paid and got to hear the prophesy. Hearing the prophesy at my age of nine was about the last straw. I was so busy thinking that I did not realize that I had someone following me. I had to make plans and RUN! America was my first thought but I can't I'm just a kid. No one is going to let me on a plane or rent a place to stay.

/Scene Break/

I got back late but it's still light. Here on the park swing I can't think of what I am going to do. Vernon is going to kill me, maybe I will sneak in late and…the beating will be bad that's for sure but where else can I go?

"You killed the Dark Lord, revenge is mine." I turned to see who was yelling and a green light flying at me, just as it is about to hit me I closed my eyes, and then…nothing. I open my eyes and see a strange person is a black hooded cloak with wings. I mean big black wings! Just as I am about to ask what…I see that everything has stopped. One kid is stopped half way down the slide, a parent is in mid step, and the green light is just hanging there, this is eerily strange.

"Harry you forgot to ask the Goblins for an international floe trip to America, give this paper to SharpKnife and when you get to America get to a small town and get a lawyer. Go on now, Gringotts is still open. Something told me to get out of there quickly and I did before the bad man woke up.

/Scene Break/

If I thought I was tired before, that was before I found this day as a never ending day. First is was the trip to Diagon alley and getting to SharpTooth. I told him about the weird person and his telling me to ask for an international floe connection to a small town in America and to find a lawyer. I think SharpTooth was going refuse but I handed him the paper and he turned a different color or maybe lost his color. The next thing I know is I am tumbling out of the 'floe' and being met by a lawyer, arranged by SharpTooth.

Now I know I am a kid and kids are not allowed to do a lot of thing. I didn't learn much from the Dursley's but primary school showed me that kids are led and told what to do, the lawyer asked me what I wanted. I just could say, "Somewhere to sleep." He arranged a hotel room and said his assistant would pick me up in the morning. I collapsed in the nice soft hotel bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2—On with life

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The next morning I checked on Nagas as he had been quiet for a long time. "I don't talk too much but I could do with some food." Nagas hissed.

Jane was the assistant and really nice, she helped me with information as we had breakfast.

"Boy you really have some powerful people working for you; I haven't seen my boss jump so quick in ages. He left me with some instructions so when your finished we will hit the road."

Nagas was not happy over the sausages but I couldn't just order a live rat for him.

I found that I had a new name of Harold Jimmy Evans with the nick-name of Harry. If anyone asked I lived with an aunt and my parents were dead. I was given a phone number if anything went wrong and she then took me shopping. I got everything from pants to jeans with trainers and more. It was fun and everything fit me. We arrived in a small town out west in a semi-desert community. We rented a furnished apartment about two blocks from where I was now enrolled in school. Classes started Monday. With a hug and a goodbye Jane left.

Nagas slithered off grumbling in search of live food and I checked out the apartment. One thing that I appreciated was all the work I did at the Dursley's it now helped me clean and keep up my apartment. I was a whiz at cooking and there was a Laundromat in the complex. There were an abundance of mice in the area so Nagas was one happy cobra. I found a local supermarket and stocked up on food items before Monday classes.

Monday was embarrassing as the teacher wanted me to stand up as the new kid and tell everything about myself. I just said I was born in England and lived here with my aunt and ran out of words while I turned red with imbarasment. I realized that I must watch what I say and do because I definitely did not want to be return to the Dursley's because of a big mouth. This also meant that after school I didn't exist and was staying to myself.

It wasn't long before I had a couple of friends at school. Glen was the football nut and Pete was the baseball nut. The next thing I know I am playing tag football and short-stop on the ball team. I did have some minor problems with the language. I had to ask why people here always were talking about their pants; underwear was something you wore not talked about. We all laughed about the Americans calling pants what the English called trousers.

Nagas was a fountain of information about different things even if he did not have the full information. He knew that Hogwarts was a school for wizards but little else. He knew of Goblin wars but we could only guess who won. He knew about my killing Voldemort when he killed my parents, but that left me in the dark why I ended up at the Dursley's. It was that summer when I got introduced to more knowledge of the wizard world.

/Scene Break/

Summer break had started and I wanted to see the coast and the ocean. I hopped on the train and we headed off on a day trip or whatever trouble we could get into. On a wander thru the streets Nagas and I found a wizards street. I found a book shop and bought a ton of books about wizards, spells and other odd subjects.

The Goblin credit card worked great but I still had Galleons in one pocket and dollars in the other. Since it was a hot day a nice ice cream and cola was sought at a side-walk café.

"High, do you mind if I join you? Everything if full-out here and it's too nice to sit inside." There stood a cute brown-haired girl wearing one of those witches' costumes.

"Please I could do with some company, I'm Harry, Harry Evans."

"Ann, Ann Perkins, nice to meet you Harry."

Ann was happy to chat away about her school and magical things. She then asked the question, "Have you gotten your wand yet? I got mine yesterday and I just can't wait to get to school to use it." She trudged on even though I had not answered her questions. When she came up for air I asked about where one bought a wand and got directions. That brought another adventure.

I'm sure her directions were correct but I was lost on a bright day on a dingy wizard street. I finally spied a wand shop that had seen better days. As I entered the shop a little bell tinkled and a short old man entered from the back and barked out, "Who sent you?"

I always try to be polite so I said that I had just gotten lost and found his shop. "Get out!" was his reply.

"Look I can pay and want a wand, if you won't sell me one then tell me where I can buy one." I was not thrilled with this grouch.

The next question pissed me off, "Where are your parents?" So I gave him a bit of lip, "Dead! Where are your parents?"

That got a chuckle out of him, "Sonny I make illegal wands, the Ministry approved wand shop is on Ducas Street."

Still not happy with him and being a little stubborn "So who makes the better wand and what's the difference?"

Nagas had explained about the Ministry to some extent which meant the law and breaking the law could mean return to the Dursley's. Ann had told me enough about wands that I wanted one and later I would realize I made a good choice in getting one. I also found out as I read the books I bought that there was more than spells and curses around the life of Harry Potter and a wand was a necessity.

"My wands are illegal because they have no tracking charms. If the Ministry catches you they will confiscate the wand and fine the hell out of you as you are underage. My wands are better because I make them for a specific wizard but that makes them expensive as hell."

"Fine, will you make me one?" I asked because I felt that I was illegal already or if not now I would be soon in my not normal life.

He was a grumpy old man but he knew what he was doing. I seemed that way as he first had me walk to a work bench that had twelve wands laid out in little cases. "So can you feel your magic?" I gave a "huh" as I had no idea what he was talking about. "Figures" he growled, "I want you to feel your magic and feel your magic down your arm. Then send your magic thru the wand while you say 'lumos' and think of a light at the end of the wand". I picked up the first wand and nothing; the second wand produced a bright light. The grouch let off a string of curse words that I only understood half of. When he asked and found out that I was going on ten he let loose more curse words and just said, "Remind me never to stand in front of you when you use your wand." Every step was done and redone, first the selection of the wood then the core and the matching it all together.

After the wand was done and I produced a 'lumos' that almost blinded us, he was happy which was almost unnatural for him. I had to ask about the twelve wands and he said, "The one on the far right is for almost squibs, the first one you used was for god himself to light, it was a power check. You lit the wand that maybe two or three other people in the world could light." He took my money and ushered me out of his shop.

I got to practice what I found in the books with the wand. I was happy that I chose to go into a desert area to practice that first day because Nagas had insisted that hunting would be to his liking out in the desert... I tried a 'defodio' and had a culvert appear in the dirt thirty feet long. I found the spells in the books to be easy to do but control was something I would need to practice.

/Scene Break/

I was doing super in school and even got myself into a culinary cooking class. I already knew a lot of what they taught but it was a class mostly full of girls. I found them strangely alluring and nice to be around. Most boys my age were still either pulling pigtails or saying girls were icky.

Our baseball team won and went to the finals where we lost. We were still happy that we were that good to play at state. My grades were almost all A's which here meant the best you could score. I also was getting more control over my wand or I guess my magic. School passed quickly and I again went to the coast and the wizard street. I wanted more books. The books I wanted were for advanced magic and were getting more and more expensive.

/Scene Break/

I got a Gringott's owl on my birthday containing a forwarded letter which inviting me to enroll in Hogwarts and a list of supplies. I penned a letter back stating no thanks. Nagas had been informative and the wizard street had added to my information but the books about Harry Potter were enough to make me avoid England and any full-time involvement in wizard society. I was safe and happy where I was and as far as I could tell untraceable.

By the end of the year our ball team was again in the finals and after a thrilling game we won the state title. I was the happiest I could imagine as I had hit a three bagger and that had won the game. I had also made a daring steal which led to Hank safely stealing home. My stealing second base ended in a spectacular slide and my downfall.

In sliding I had dislodged my ball cap and some reporter made a good shot which was good enough to make the papers. When I returned home from the state meet I was met by SharpKnife sitting on the couch.

"Hi Harry, we need to talk." It was not a very nice talk and left me ready to blast something. I had long ago found out there was a prophesy which stated that I had to... I hated being forced into doing things. The prophesy stated that only I would be able to kill Voldemort the Dark Lord. If that was not bad enough the English Ministry had tried to confiscate my vault led by an Albus Dumbledore. That same turkey had also put me with the Dursley's. I definitely did not want to return to the Dursley's. I now knew who I wanted to blast. The newspaper picture would have all these people coming my way if I stayed here. SharpKnife offered the only suggestion that made sense. I was going to be relocated and be provided tutors for magic training. I was now known as Harold Orion Black, nickname Harry.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3—A new life

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I am now in another arid state; Nagas is now six feet long and growing. Tineke is my new girl friend as if I have the time for anything. Lucky me, I only have time for her during school hours as my tutors attack after school and on weekends. Sports are now gone as in "no time". My muggle grades have suffered as I don't have adequate time for study in my busy life. Bad grades in muggle studys may get me a counseling, bad grades from my magic training get me hexed or worse. Finally I have school break but everyone else maintained their schedules which left my day light hours for Tineke.

Tineke was the love of my life; she had honey blond hair and a personality that just make me happy to be alive. She had long ago found out about me being magical so when the tutors told me of another street that was in the area for magical's I took her on a tour. She didn't want to enter but I finally got her past the muggle repelling wards and she was astonished at some of the goings on in the wizard street.

/Scene Break/

August is coming and I will be fifteen, Tineke wants to us to find a vacation spot and wants to make like bunnies. She had effectively slowed my studying down but she thinks its time we did the final act of love. The tutors have had it with me; even with a restrictor on my wand they won't duel with me anymore and told me that anything else I needed to learn could be done from a book. That was everyone but Kajol she was determined that I learned wand-less magic which I finally did. She now wanted me to get an elf and learn what magic I could from the elf. They had not misled me so on the next trip I purchased a little female elf named De'de. The only thing that De'de could show me, that I could actually learn, was how elves moved from one place to another which she called 'sliding'. Two weeks later I 'slid' Tineke and myself to the wizard street we got a room in the inn and learned how to make like bunnies.

/Scene Break/

We had been locked up in the room for next day and enjoyed the entire time. While we were not very knowledgeable to start with we were fast learners. We decided to take in a restaurant down the street for a nice cozy meal. My ball cap was long forgotten in my life as well as the Dursley's. My hair covered my scar somewhat as my hair was pulled back in a ponytail. The western sun had me a solid bronze to the despair of Tineke who had to hide from the sun with her fair skin. We strolled along arm in arm oblivious to our surroundings.

"Harry Potter!" was yelled out from behind us; I turned to see who was shouting that name. The weird thing that called was now casting multiple 'stunners' at me had a strange magical eye; he looked like most of him had be blown away or cut up at some time in the past. I just swatted away the stunners using a dueler's shield on my hand. I was about to ask if he was a nutter when he upped the spells with a 'incarcerous' that too I batted away. This seemed to piss him off and a 'confringo' was hurled at us. My shield went up and this was now war, so I returned his 'confringo' and included an 'impedimenta', I learned that day that war, in my definition, was inadequate. The tutors that I dueled with...well I was not trying to maim or kill, this was a bad philosophy in this situation. Tineke now was in panic and tried to run which got my attention for a split second and we both got the next curse "Avada Kedavra".

/Scene Break/

"Hello Harry, long time no see." There stood the hooded figure I saw in the park on Privet drive.

"Err, I guess you must be … and I am?"

"Yes and no, I will explain but I will let you know I am very mad at a number of people, you are low on the list so relax."

I don't know why but I just knew as I asked, "I assume Tineke is gone since she is not with me?"

"Yes she has moved on but that is part of my ire. Let us take a walk as we talk as I am sure you will want to vent at some time."

The wall disappeared to a green pasture with a small forest off to the right. "Normally I don't have these chats; I pick up the souls of the departed and send them on to their appropriate place. I have been thwarted by Tom Riddle who you have heard of as Voldemort. You were to have survived that night he killed your parents. However, you would have moved on to be a spoiled brat with a lot of money and girls. The whole story is in the details but England's magical society was just to corrupt at every level to be allowed to continue. Voldemort would have in the end taken England and killed you."

"I'm not sure I like the sound of how I'm being manipulated just to die."

Death just shrugged his shoulders and continued, "The Americans would in the end terminated England. Tineke was to have been a researcher and develop a break through or other useful technology in France. The interference of Albus Dumbledore started with Tom Riddle at the age of eleven and you at the age eighteen months. Time is a line and while you can bend it, the line must go ahead. Dumbledore has twisted the lines of time and there are a lot of deities that he will have to answer to in the end. Now you are going to go back to your time and place when we are finished this little chat. There will be some ground rules that you must follow. Do you follow me so far?"

"Yes…er…Sir."

"Just call me Death or any name you have heard in your mythology teachings, Sam will do nicely." (mythology/bible Samuel arch angle)

"Thank you Sam, so Dumbledore is the root of all the evil that's going on?"

"No Harry that is man-kinds way of life but while Voldemort is true evil Dumbledore is good causing bad in the name of good. The first things you must know is that under no condition are you to kill Albus Dumbledore just as sure as you will kill Tom Riddle. Before you are finished will kill many people but you are not to do that without cause as your destiny is now the leader of the good."

"I guess there can't be two leaders of the light." I chuckled.

"Joking aside, I will bestow three gifts on you if you lose even one you will know that you are evil and will be dealt with by the fates. Now I again stress that killing is going to be part of your life but enjoying it or doing it because you can is evil. The person that killed your Tineke will probably be your first kill whether you wish it or not."

"Sam I am confused, you sound like I will be there with them and not staying away from all that crap."

"Indeed no mater how far you run in the end you will have to face all this, let's call it your life before you begin to live. Now to start with on September the 1st you will board the Hogwarts Express on platform 9 & 3/4. You will be the emancipated Lord Harry Potter Black among many titles. You will be starting your fifth year or should be but beware of the intrigue. There will be love potions, phony friends and a grandfatherly Dumbledore. While you pick your way through manipulations and misdirection you should find this quite exciting. SharpKnife will give you the back ground of what a lord is authorized in Hogwarts and at the Ministry. Are you Harry James Potter willing to accept the afore-mentioned ideas and rules?"

"Yah, can't dance so yes let's start the games, the worst I can do is end up back here, right?"

"Good on you Harry Potter. Almost forgot, don't be suckered in on a Horicrux chase or anything connected to them. Your scar should start fading as soon as you get back to life. You kill Riddle and math will fix his remaining…let's leave it at that. Now the three gifts, the first is true invisibility with a thought, no cloaks or spells, think it and you are invisible. Second gift is a wand better that the one I left on earth that Dumbledore now has. In fact this wand of destiny should cause apoplexy among the powerful. The third you will receive once you are settled, you won't miss the symbolism. One last thought do not let them know you have any wands, part of their manipulation will to get you a wand. I think you shall enjoy that bit quite well if I understand your temperament. So any questions Harry?"

"Sure about a million but I'm done aren't I?

"Yes Harry, see you much later."

And I awoke in my bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4—Off to school

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The next morning I headed to the nearest Gringotts bank and 'floe'd' to SharpKnife in England. The training began over my being a Lord. Lord Potter I could understand but Lord Black confused me. Seems when a lord no longer is alive or cannot produce an heirs then the title moves on, and he had named me his successor. Sort of made weird wizard sense. SharpKnife made sure I had the Harry Potter glamor down pat before I left the bank. Without the glamor no one would recognize me as my hair was long and my scar was gone.

The shopping was a pain and the school clothing was awful in design and comfort. A lot of the potion ingredients could be called icky by even a strong stomach person.

I was alone in my compartment as I had figured, after many years at school the students had their own friend and making new ones was long past. So it surprised me when a bushy haired girl clutching a pile of books asked if she could enter. It was as if she thought I would cast her out or become violent. As she quietly sat reading she occasionally looking over the top of the book when she thought I wasn't looking, a blond entered and asked if she could join. She had not said two sentences and I wondered if she was short a few marbles or was trying to avoid a real conversation.

Then the fun started. First came a Red-headed lout who seemed to take joy in verbally abusing the bushy haired girl. When I told him to get lost he objected and tried to pull his wand. He finally got off the floor and took his broken nose compliments of Harry Potter down the corridor.

The next jerk was a blond poof who went verbally after the bushy haired girl while his two goons cracked their knuckles. I was not supposed to have a wand so I used a little wand-less magic, and the blond had an attack of constricting underwear. While he fell to the floor screaming like a little girl he tried to remove his pant to get to the offending underwear. This of course got a crowd or heads popping out of compartments. When goon 'one' bent over to help he found his pants gone and a little shove put him on top of the blond. Goon 'two' must have had a thought and he did not like that idea. He backed up and then suddenly bolted down the compartment way knocking other students to the floor. Goon 'one' got up and the blond finally got his underwear off in public. The girls were all giggling and the boys were either grimacing or laughing. The blond was not well equipped if you could refer to that as equipment.

"You seem to have a weird set of friends" I meant this to break the ice and get her talking.

"You should not have done that. You will have the two biggist bullies after you now." She replied and dove back into her book.

It seemed that Hogwarts was a school of a pecking order in the worse kind. I had never seen anything worse in the muggle schools. I learned the girl's names and offered my common room for them to escape and study if they wished. It was good that I did that for both because in come some Asian bitch laying into the blond. The blond looked like she was on another planet which pissed off the Perfect bitch. She found herself in bra and knickers, screamed and ran.

That brought a stern teacher who was looked in need of some sex or she would turn into a prune in the near future. "Who was doing all that magic?" She glared, causing the two girls to shrink further into their seats.

"And who might you be Miss?" I asked almost knowing the response.

"I am not a Miss I am…" I cut her off and said, "Of course you are a Miss with that attitude you have to be single."

"I am Professor McGonagall and I want your wand NOW!"

"Sorry Miss I don't have a wand, never had, was I supposed to have one?" she tried a summoning spell on me and got nada. She must not know of wand holsters with anti-summoning charms.

"I am a Professor and I…" I again cut her off and said, "Whoopty doo, still don't have a wand and I have never had one." She proceeded to check the two girls wands for prior spells and huffed and was about to leave when I asked, "Say Miss, since you claim to be a Professor what are you going to do to the Red-head and the blond poof for harassment, threading students not to mention inappropriate sexual behavior in the corridors?" She stomped off and verified what I had thought were the morals of Hogwarts and the wizard world.

/Scene Break/

I got off the carriage as I refused to ride in a boat and was grabbed by a greasy hair idiot who learned; that he ought not to ever lay a hand on me again. He received a slight shock of about 220v A/C. A little charm I learned from one of my tutors. Anyhow we ended up in Dumbledore's office and the fun began. He wanted to know and I told him, "Not school business so it's none of yours, and I want to know where my private quarters were?" Of course that was refused. So then the mind probes started from Greasy and Dumble-ass. I waved and 'slid' out of Hogwarts to SharpKnife who informed the Board of Governors, who informed Dumbledore who provided Lord Quarters. There were law suits in the wizard world and SharpKnife knew them all.

I returned to Hogwarts and as I walked in I was again directed and led to Dumbledore's office. I now get a line of crap that all my score provided from the Salem Institute are phony and all wands that I have are unauthorized and will be turned over immediately. While I knew that the Salem Institute of magic results were phony Dumbledore did not and I handed my copy to McGonagall with a comment, "Funny that I am so stupid. Didn't you tell bone-head I don't have a wand?"

The copy read:

Year end scores for Harry James Potter:

Subject... Practical exam... Written exam

DADA ... ... ... ... O... ... ... ... ... O

Tranfig ... ... ... ..O... ... ... ... ...O

Care of ... ... ... O... ... ... ... ... O

Potions ... ... ... O+... ... ... ... . O+ with honors

History of ... ... O... ... ... ... ... O

Sighed: A Dufus Headmaster Salem Institute

So it was decided that I was stupid, untrained and would be sorted after I got a wand in Diagon Alley. They also just put in the first year classes without any testing. I really wished that Sam had not made me promise not to kill Dumbledore.

I was escorted to my quarters without being allowed to eat. This place kind of reminded me of the Dursley's without the physical violence. De'de provided a very nourishing meal with a couple of butterbeers while Nagas left to hunt rats.

"Master Harry wat yous bee wanting me to doos with the spells theys bees adding to yous?

I scanned my stuff and the room and came up with tracking charms and listening charms. I directed De'de to remove them and insure that they stayed removed. I then headed to bed as I felt a good night sleep would be needed to face the next day.

/Scene Break/

We headed to Diagon alley, me and Snape, oh thrills.

My American wand was next to my Death wand in a concealed holster which was invisible and could not be summoned. I was almost developing a smirk like Snape by the time we got to Olivanders. I got the feeling that the wand maker wanted to do something but he took one look at me and ran to the rear of his shop returning with a wand.

"Dumbledore said that this is the wand for you, please I am just a humble wand maker." He had taken a look at the arm that I had my other wands on and ran. With wands being his business I wondered if he could sense the wand from Sam? Snape was to busy sneering to understand what happened. Hell I was getting confused just being around the wizard community.

Now to this time I had yet to enter the Great Hall and be sorted, not that it meant much as I had my private quarters. So I entered the Great Hall and turned to the head table. I really don't know what I would do, smirk or glare at Bumbledore? BUT! I saw that dirty bastard that killed Tineke and I must have snapped because there were curses flying between us like a storm of vengeance.

The wand I got today just burnt out on the first couple of spells I cast but I was also throwing wand-less spells while the wand in my hand was smoking. The end result was a bloody pulp blasted against a stone wall and me holding a wand that was on fire. Madam Pomfrey was repairing my hand while Dumbledork looked like I had killed his puppy, was it the wand or my killing that got that look, who cared.

The DMLE came in with a ton of Aurors and were getting ready to crucify me for killing their favorite Auror MadEye Moody. Thing started popping about that time from multiple directions. Something landed on my left shoulder while Nagas popped up from under my robes on my right shoulder. This undid the disillusioning spell on Nagas. While those two were hissing and trilling at each other Dumbledork was yelling, the students were down to a buzzing and the head Auras was asking questions.

Suddenly one of the red-head twins jumped up and yelled that Moody was in his office and confusion rained on unabated. Amelia Bones grabbed the red-head and left the Great Hall with orders to her Aurors to do nothing until she returned. Minutes later the red-head ran in yelling for Madam Pomfrey to get to the DADA office. In the end they found the real MadEye in his trunk and tests showed Polly-juice on the deceased MadEye. I was pounded on the back, congratulated and make a hero just two minutes after everyone wanted to kill me, this was not a sane society. Of course when I looked at my left shoulder to see what had landed it didn't take Nagas to explain that she was a silver Phoenix. She started trilling and I got images that she was a present from Sam.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-Hogwarts

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So now I have Hermione the bushy haired girl, Luna the blond, both are almost living in my living room. Not that I minded but waking up and wandering into my living room while scratching my…to fine someone there was bothersome. This morning I decided to head over to find the mini-goblin Flitwick when I get Draco and about a dozen older years. Draco has somehow threatened or persuaded them to give me an attitude adjustment. Madam Pomfrey was pissed and gave me what-fore for all the work I dragged into her hospital.

I finally made it to lunch and got Dumbledore ordering me to Olivander's for a new wand. McGonagall escorted me into his shop and after one look I thought he was going to have a heart attack. "Olivander relax as I only killed every other person every other day"which got McGonagall in a huff over disrespecting my elders. I asked if Olivander minded if I looked at his special wands in back. He was so scared he just nodded and I told him, "Tell anyone who asks that you gave me this wand and collect your normal fee when we get out front." I pulled out my first ever wand and I laughed and said loudly, "You did a nice job on this wand Mr. Olivander".

So I now was armed with a Dumbledore's directed wand and the next morning I was finally sorted. I thought that Mydumbplan-a-dore was going to shit-a-brick as his face was red in an unbelieving grunt. The hat said Slytherin.

This of course made me such great friends, Gryffindor automatically hated Slytherins. Draco the "his father would" were out for my scalp. Of course Snape was my best buddy as head of house along with the older Slytherins that I put in the hospital. I had however picked up Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis in my living room as they were objects of sexual leering in Slytherin. Not that I could do much about all this but that got me to thinking about the pure blood society.

Then an idea came:

Hermione was muggle raised and a real brain so I asked her and she came up with a half and half answer. It was a medallion that was magic that the girls could wear around their necks but if in trouble they just pushed their button and I was alerted. The real problem was where they were and how would I get to them? Hermione just added a GPS spell and if my medallion went off I just pushed my button and I got transported to the problem. The fun we had with that joke line.

Nagas was in heaven as there were more mice and rats in the castle than could be counted. Sally the Phoenix was happy on her perch with a large bowl of fruit. De'de was ecstatic with cleaning and cooking for me and the clutch of girls that congregated in my living room that she could serve. It would be nice if I had a girl friend but I just snickered to myself at all the girls laying around me in my living room. Here I attended first year courses and had the best looking girls in the school. Somehow all this pleasantry reminded me of the first potion class with Snape.

Exert from the Philosophers Stone by R.J Rowlings (Modified):

"Ah, Yes," he said softly, "Harry Potter, our new celebrity." Then he turned to the class for his introduction. "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making." He began. He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every work…Like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort. There is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." More silence followed this little speech...

"Potter!" said Snape suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Powdered root of what to an infusion of what? I glanced around the room, the class looked stumped. So he got what he asked for, "I don't know, sir". Snape's lips curled into a sneer. "Tut, tut — fame clearly isn't everything. Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

End of modified exert:

Well enough of this, he was being an ass, he must know that most in the first year had no training in potions, "Personally I could give a pound of Dragon dung, and if you need to know you best get a potion book. Here take mine as I no intent on learning squat from you."

This of course sent Snape in to the land of the livid. Snape's first impulse was to run to the first year and after grabbing him or her in an attempt to rattle their brain by shaking them like a maracas in a meriatchi band. He realized that another electrical episode was not appealing so he tried to wand me into submission. That got him flying into his potion shelves and he becomes a slimier putz.

Time does as time does and flies by and Dumbles has announced a Yule ball and I am stuck. I really don't have any specific interest but there are all the girls in my living room. I will not select one over the other as each has an esteem problem or are hiding from boys in general. I told the living room in general that I was going to France to celebrate and left. I know I was being a coward but each girl should have a life of fun and enjoyment but at Hogwarts these girls had degradation and verbal abuse. I could not curse all of the asses that did all that to the girls although I wanted to do just that.

/Scene Break/

Life is really the pits or a real joy. I did go to France and while England froze I was sunning myself at an outside table sipping on a rum and coke. Most of Europe cares less and I am now running at sixteen, way past the age of consent.

"Harry is that you?" There in front of me was Ame'e or as I called her Amy, we went to MuggleSchool together in America. She was of French descendant so finding her here in France was not that big of a surprise. She wanted to attend the University of Cumbria in England and I for one was not averse to get a bachelor or master degree in a subject. After a whirl-wind courtship we registered in University. Screw Hogwarts first year schooling, I showed for breakfast or dinner at Hogwarts every once in a while, slept in my quarters and the hell with the fall out of not attending classes. I could 'slide' so I even got to attend a Hogwarts class every once in awhile. That presented a couple of problems in school supplies. At University I used pens and paper but in the magical community it was quills and parchment. The later was not picked up a in a muggle stationary nor were my robes that I was outgrowing. Supplies and some books I needed had me 'sliding' into Diagon alley for a shopping trip.

Nagas still enjoyed trips with me but he was getting quite large. I had to put a charm to lighten him as he wound around my body several times. A disillusion charm was also used. Nagas and Sally got along fine so he had Phoenix transport when I was not around. This particular day Nagas was sunning himself and not interested in any trips to Diagon Alley. I wish I was that smart. I ran into Daphne in Flourish & Blott's and we had a chat before I headed into the stationery shop. I got a shock when one of the necklass buttons got pushed and so I 'slid' to that person knowing trouble awaited. Tracey Davis was only a short 'slide' away by the Apothecary along with six Deatheaters. This was not time for school spells so I fired several 'tela argenti' as in as many as I could fire off, fear is a great motivator. The spell is called darts of silver as in a bunch per cast and I had fired off a dozen spells or maybe more. The Deatheaters were all down but then I got another attack, Tracey hugging me for dear life.

I noticed that several buildings along the street now covered in silver darts. My life is never this easy as guess who came around the bend with six more Deatheaters, Yep Mr. Ugly himself. I pushed off Tracey who started, "Why did you shove me, that was…" She saw Volde and was running toward the Leaky Cauldron in Olympic speed.

"Harry I was told you and your lovely's were here today. I shall enjoy letting my inner circle enjoy them after I ...yada, yada." While he is enjoying enhancing his ego I have a problem. I am going to slide to Daphne next but she is only a few buildings behind Voldemort. I need him continuing to walk and talk towards me and further away from Daphne and yet figure out how to slow him down. I almost laughed at an easy solution. I concentrated on what I wanted and putting power in the spell, "Accio darts of silver!" and I 'slid' to Daphne.

As I peeked out from Flourish & Blott's I saw Volde laying face down and was looking like an overgrown pin cushion. Two of his still standing minions grabbed him and disappeared.

/Scene Break/

June 4th came around for end of year testing and I made sure I flunked all of Hogwarts tests, all except one for McGonagall I really wasn't trying to pass that first year course. She like most of the teachers at Hogwarts told you what to do after they told you what to read and then made you perform the spell. The problem was no one said how the spell was designed to work or how it functioned, just point and shoot and shut up. Being a stupid first year, I did what I was ordered to do, I did my match stick into a needle. Well no one said how big or what metal. So she got a six-foot bronze needle stuck in the middle of her classroom. Unfortunately everyone was having a problem getting rid of the needle. And this gets me a passing grade?

/Scene Break/

Summer was going to be fantastic Amy and I were going to pop. woops wrong idea, drive around Europe. I figured I could try and get her slowly use to the idea that magic was possible. Plans laid, rent-a-car rented and Dumbledore calls me into his office. "Harry you failed your first year courses and I am afraid you will have to repeat the year." Twinkles was happy it seemed.

"Beans to me Pops I am not into this magic crap, so I can stay a first year until I am seventeen and then I am out of here."

"You are not afraid of the Deatheaters or Voldemort hurting you or your friends. Surely you have read books about your parent's death or your class mates have informed you over their sacrifices?" I thought, whats a little guilt trip between friends?

"Nope not a worry in the world, got cash and the world to get lost in, I'll leave you idiots with all the fun." I grinned.

"I really wanted to wait until you are ready but your attitude forces me to give you a prophesy that was made about you and Voldemort." I knew this society was loony but the Great Leader of the Light recites an almost direct quote from muggle literature book. He must think in all the last decade of muggle schooling I never read a book?

"So Harry you are in grave and mortal danger so I must insist that you stay at the Burrow with the Weasley's. The Burrow has extensive ward to protect it from people who wish you harm." The first thought was I was being asked to stay with the Red-headed lout who this jerk Dumbledore made a Perfect. Ron the Perfect lorded that position over half the school and was one of the asses that made Hermione's life miserable. Yea right! Why argue in any case I was heading for a vacation with Amy and Ron was not invited alone.

/Scene Break/

Platform 9 ¾ was swarming adults that didn't look like they were waiting on family. Snape stood out quite well. With my shrunk trunk in my pocket and my invisibility on max I walked out to the street and 'slid' to outside Amy's dorm. Amy and I were getting close but she still didn't know about magic. Summer vacation started at Hogwarts the beginning of June so I had to find a Hotel until the university started their break.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6—The attack

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We took a ferry over to France and drove through Belgium enjoying the time together and all the things that you do on vacation. Unfortunately we were still in the kissing and grabbing stage of our relationship and slept in separate rooms. It was to my great sorrow that the next day started and ended what could have been a great romance. Much of what happened was filled in by the Aurors in Belgium.

I had just finished dressing and was heading across the room to knock on Amy's door. What was happening with the Dumbdumb crowd was not in my thoughts when I heard a crash as if a door was blown open followed by a scream. Almost at the same time a Phoenix swooped in like a vulture and tried to grab me. I used the electric charm on full and shocked it into a shocking feathered mess before it flamed out.

I raced to Amy's room to find the door was blown off its hinges and as I raced in I heard 'Obliviate" and saw a man standing over Amy who had fallen to the floor. I already had grabbed my wand but had unknowingly grabbed the wand from Sam. I was so furious I just pointed the wand and yelled OBLITERATE! Besides a red smear on the wall that was all that was left of the head, the body fell to the carpet. The sounds of 'apperations' into the room and hallway announced the arrival of six Belgium Aurors.

/Scene Break/

It seemed like hours at the Belgium Ministry hospital ward but finally the med-witch came and explained, "She has been 'Oblivated' of all memory of you and she refuses to see or have anything to do with you." From my look she saw the confusion.

"Harry the mind is very complicated and being 'Oblivated' is not without side effects. Cutting it down as simply as I can she has somewhere in her subconscious pain and you are associated with that pain. She also has a fear of males at this time so it not just you. Being 'Oblivated' by the Belgium authorities to have her forget seeing magic has complicated everything, do not expect her to ever know you or want to know you. Now if you are up to it the Aurors would like a last word with you."

A few minutes later:

"Ah Lord Potter my condolences, the med-witch has filled me in on you friends condition. I am Ernst Van de Brucken head of the Aurors here in the area. Let me assure you, you are not in any trouble but I must say you set off our magic detectors with vigor. The attack on a muggle and that's what this was a vicious attack and not an adjustment to a muggle to forget you. Further we have identified the attacker as a John Dawlish who is a British Auror. Would you have any idea why or who sent him?"

"Sir I was in my room when Dumbledore's Phoenix attempted to kidnap me…"

"Why would you say that Lord Potter, Phoenix's are…"

"Sally" I said and she flashed in and onto my shoulder and gave a calming thrill.

"I am quite familiar with Phoenix and their capabilities. You will notice the color; the lighter the Phoenix the lighter the wizard familiar is, as the Familiar turn's dark so does the bonded Phoenix. If you recall Dumbledore's is turning red and black. He is trying to control me I think but can't prove he was responsible for the attack."

"Well thank you for the information. This is going to turn into an international incident regardless, a British Auror 'Obliviating' a French citizen on Belgium' soil is just not done. Have a better day Lord Potter you are free to go."

I stayed and I tried but all I was causing was distress to Amy so I finally admitted defeat. I told the muggle hospital to bill any costs to my account and ended any attempt to continue the vacation.

/Scene Break/

During the summer an international incident exploded and the Dumbledore's hunt for Harry fizzled. They were now hunting in America after the 1st of September had passed as they found no Harry Potter on the platform or the train. MadEye felt Harry would return to his roots, and he was right.

The first thought was to again dispatch Fawkes to get Harry. Fawkes flat refused to discuss Harry Potter. Harry's large snake, normally seen roaming at night after curfew, had also disappeared. No one could get into Harry's quarters except a select group of girls. Dumbledore again misjudged the situation and warded the entrance so no one could get in, he found himself with a sit-in the next day by the majority of the girls at Hogwarts.

By this time Dumbledore felt that he had lost control. He did not have control of an important pawn in his game with Voldemort or his hidden agenda with Harry.

Snape came up with a brilliant idea until the owls turned their backs on him. They would have to wait until they got to America to use owls to track the elusive brat. Owls could not fly over all that water in one go and while you could 'floe' one over not only could you not track the owl but it also ticked off the owl to a great extent.

/Scene break/

I missed Amy but she was fine and I had to comply with her and her councilors wishes. I was at a plush restaurant down the street from my Manhattan apartment mulling over my options. SharpKnife had provided an international port-key that dumped me in my parent's old apartment. Well old and plush apartment. Nagas didn't like the trip or the store-bought rats but enjoyed the sun on the balcony. Sally was just happy. De'de came with me and was working to get years of dust spotless before she banished the dust. Crazy elves!

As I sat eating one of those meals that cost hundreds of dollars and wasn't enough to feed a bird I heard, "I'll be damned, Harry Potter himself." I looked up to find something that could only be found in a dream. She had legs that never ended and red hair that ended on a cute bum. She was not top-heavy but had enough and knew how to show them off to complete a gorgeous package.

"Oh yes I am and since you know me you must be a…but I'll be damned if I know where you are hiding your…"

She cut me off as we were in a muggle environment, "Yes I am and are you interested in finding out where it's hidden?"

This was getting there fast, "You know that my mind is racing with those thoughts, would you like to join me for a drink?" I was on a roll and I would love to roll that in the sack. The meal was forgotten and we talked and talked when I finally tried out that old line, "Would you like to join me for a drink at my place?" I almost stopped breathing when she said, "I'd enjoy that."

While I was trying to get to first base with June the Dumbledore Order of the Phoenix was preparing an assault on America and Harry Potter. June was a witch and a gorgeous one. I almost cursed my familiars that night as they took to June and June took to them. Nagas had his head in her lap and Sally was being petted while rubbing her head on June's cheek. I was a jealous male. When was it my turn?

We made a date for the next day. That date started a week-long chase on my part that was not unnoticed by June. June was a French citizen studying in America at the Salem institute. They were on break and she was here to take in the theatre, so I took her to every theatre that I could find. During that time I told her of Voldemort, Dumbledore, the English Ministry and me being number one on the get control of Harry Potter parade. When June said that she already had control of me I knew I had lost, I was a goner, she said jump and I was asking how high.

That evening just before heading out to another play in another theatre June suddenly shouted, "De quoi?" I looked up and tons of owls now were waiting to enter the apartment. They were sitting on the balcony rails. There was no option I had to run.

That's when June told me "You run, no way, we run!" June demanded, "I have not put this much time of my life get your attention for you to disappear, I'm coming."

Sally was flaming; Nagas was wrapped around June like "you leave her you leave me". I took June's hand and De'de took June's and I slid the group to Gringotts New York.

The international port-key dumped me at the feet of a laughing June in SharpKnife's office.

/Scene Break/

The Turkey club had brought a number of troops over to America hauling some upset Owls. Not only had a number of owls been crammed into a single cage but then port-keyed. Now they were released to find a single person, ticked may not be in the owl language but the next time they needed to relieve themselves they had a target in mind.

"Dumbledore" yelled Dingles, "We released the birds and they took off and we followed on brooms as planned." Dumbledore was not in the chase but was comfortably sitting in a chaise chair sipping a drink.

"We thought we had them but suddenly the birds do an about face and head west. We followed them to Gringotts branch but they were just waiting on us like we were stupid.

Time passes:

I am now in University and seventeen; I wanted Business and Social Sciences while June wanted Science and Technology. Our new college fitted in quite well with our needs in downtown London. The down side of the college is the Leaky Cauldron; the college in on Houghton Street and the Alley was only a mile away via the Strand. Hogwarts was done as far as I was concerned but the magical community was still around.

The Hogwart's students were loaded onto the train on the 1st and by the third the hunt for Harry Potter was back on. It is funny, maybe Sam was right that time was a line and bending it you could but twisting it is making difficulties. Maybe I was destined to be at Hogwarts in any case we had a break and I was dragged to France to meet the parents.

Meeting of the Order of the Gobblers, err, Phoenix:

"We have received a communiqué from a loyal member that Harry Potter was sighted in Paris France."

Now there is a bit of a problem in wizard's 'apperition'. 'Apperation' was based on a wizards core power and two hundred mile was only for a strong wizard, there were limits. The average wizards fell well below that range of power. Paris France was 213 miles from London and they decided to take the ferry rather than risking splitching or an illegal port-key crossing boarders. The strangely dressed group got on the muggle ferry each carrying an Owl cage stuffed with angry owls for the 283 mile trip. They arrived and released the owls who relived themselves multiple times, it was a long trip. The now owl marked wizards mounted their brooms, this time Harry Potter was theirs!

What Dumbledork's great hunters did not realize as they followed the owls was that Harry Potter and his girl friend had planned on departing that day for London as the University started in two days. Harry and his lovely would be staying at Potter Manor which was unplotable and warded to stop anyone not authorized, including owls. Their first stop, via Harry 'sliding', was Gringotts London for English pounds. Harry and June had long passed kissing and groping. They had figured that two days was enough time to have the elves unpack and for more encounters of the nicer kind before college demanded their time. Parents put a large damper on full-out pleasure some times.

The tired turkeys arrived at Gringotts England after a 200 mile trip via brooms to find their owls all around the building waiting Goblin processing. English Gringotts still diverted all owls and had an owl processing center for Harry Potter's messages.

/Scene Break/

Hermione Granger being a studious girl had finished her magical education. She had seen and experienced the world where a mudblood had no place in the bigoted pureblood world. Being smarter than most Hermione was able to pass a college entrance exam and was starting her first day at the college on Houghton Street. She would make her way in the muggle world and the magical world could keep Voldemort. She had one major problem other than her respecting authority to the maximum, she still was friendly with the Weasley family especially a pair or pranksters called Gred and Forge Weasley, the brothers of Ron the mouth.

Hermione saw the cute hunk of a guy with a flaming gorgeous girl. They were obviously in love and hung on each other as lovers usually did. There was nothing more for her other than classes and study, seeing those two around the campus only added to the atmosphere around the campus and her determination to have a normal life. Harry had of course turned seventeen and was free of all restriction in the magical world. Glamour's and hiding was now not a big concern although Harry had lost one girl which made him kept an eye out for any possible problems. This girl June was a keeper and would be kept safe. Hermione would have never recognized the handsome pony-tailed hunk but one day they ran into each other at the community centre. The eyes screamed Harry Potter, her friend and protector at Hogwarts. "Harry, OH GOD! How are you, you don't know how the girls missed you after you left, what are you doing these days, and what are you studying and who is…"

"You haven't changed much have you Hermione, pretty, inquisitive and a study-aholic." I grinned. "Let me introduce my girlfriend June, June Hermione." After much discussion on who was who and how they met because June was also interested in friends of Harry's who it seemed were all girls? After a long chat they made dinner arrangements and left for their individual classes.

/Scene Break/

Hermione, June and Harry were not 100 percent muggle or magical, so trips to Diagon Alley were done for ingredance for calming draughts or a self-stirring crock-pot, etc. Harry was not a friend to the twins but Hermione was and in a visit she let slip that Harry Potter was in University. The innocent talk let out enough information to narrow the hunt. The twins use to Molly's fantastic dinners soon availed themselves and "did you know" that Hermione said she had run into Harry Potter. Ron almost broke a leg getting to Dumbledore and twenty pieces of silver.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7- Or was that arrested development

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Headmasters office Hogwarts:

"I have set out wards based on his blood, when they are tripped we will 'apperate' there. You are both Aurors in Red Robes that should impress him to start with, I will start with some small talk to distract him or convince him of his foolishness. If not you use a stunner and we will get him to the Burrow where he will be safe. I will then persuade him of his folly one way or another." Albus knew he was great with memory charms. What he had forgotten was he was no longer dealing with a wayward child but an adult called Lord Harry James Potter.

/Scene Break/

"Harry love, you are working way too hard in all those classes your taking. You need to take a break, we could use some alone time." June purred.

I have June and I want her to be proud of me. I want to show her I can support her and love her. Then there is the nine years of being called a freak and dumb that I would like to prove to myself is ridiculous. Besides June is probably going to be some scientist that invents some complicated thing that I have no idea how it works. Oh hell, she just dropped her dress, god she is beautiful, and the hell with school.

(I stink at sex scenes—enter your own Lemon scene of lust and desire)

We decided to meet at the student union building for lunch. The building was an old university nondescript building with large square stone tiles on the mini plaza. The plaza took a lot of student traffic especially between classes.

It would be said that the old goat was losing it more and more as the plaza was full of muggle students and he and his cronies 'apperate' in for all to see. There was an International Statute of Secrecy lying around somewhere in the dusty halls of the Ministry.

"Harry you must join us, the prophesy is undeniable. You must come for training in a safe place. Voldemort will kill everyone you love. I am here only to help you survive." Dumbledork is again trying to con me into coming peacefully to what? Prison?

I yell, "Stay away form me you old child molester." That got the attention of just about everyone in the area including the muggle security.

"Well if you won't come peacefully then I will just have to make you." Dumbles threw a stunner at me followed by more stunners from his assistants AKA the KFC club.

June must have panicked as threw herself into the first curse to protect me. That pissed me off beyond reason. Dumbles may have the Deathstick and two Aurors but they were dead in my mind. Then I remembered Sam saying Dumbdumb was a no-no. I wanted to blast them into a mush into the wall behind them and the Deathstick returned to hell in splinters but at the last second I raised my wand of destiny straight up. Unfortunately what I wanted affected the wand and something fired out of the wand above their heads. The power of the spell was such that it sucked up the stones in the plaza along the path of the pointed wand. Dumbles shield may have save their lives but the stones make a mess of his shield and piled upon top of them effectively pinning them down.

I revived June as the Ministry Aurors and Obliviators started arriving . Amelia Bones the head of the DMLE arrived a few minutes later yelling and basically spitting nails at Dumbledore. Attacking a Lord, violation of the International Statute of Secrecy act, attempted abduction, and, and I was glad she focused on him.

June and I slid to the Manor. I then went into a rant telling her if she did anything like that again I would…I would…I would let Dumbles explain the unauthorized use of magic in fount of muggles as I fell on the couch unable to yell at the one I love so much. I did have a chat with June about getting behind me and let me be the macho male. We agreed not to run and continue at the college. I decided we needed a trip to the Goblins for some extra protection. The Goblins always provided goods and services for a piece of gold.

We only got to kiss before it went off startling us both. Don't ask me why but it had become a habit to still wear the necklace. The necklace Hermione had come up with went off ao I pushed the button and upon arriving I could not believe what I was seeing. School yard bullying is one thing, but attacking someone in front of me is just not done.! Ron Weasley had his wand out and had Hermione cornered in an alley between Gambol & Japes and the Magical Menagerie. My appearance was silent and the alley was dark. The jerk was no longer a child still awaiting graduation, he had graduated into being an idiot in the adult world.

"So where is he Mudblood, I need to know, NOW! Don't try the crying shit on me I'll get the information on where Potter is, it's your choice whether it's before or after you service me Mudblood."

"Harry Potter is right behind you looser." I growled. Ron turned and tried to curse me but I gave him a petrifying something or other. Dam this wand of Sam's, I think of something and it happens. Ron is now a pillar of stone. Is there such a curse? I got Hermione to Madam Pomfrey via sliding and slid back to June.

Three days later June decided on a family outing so we all had to headed to Diagon alley. We got as far as Flourish & Blott's when about ten Deatheaters came pouring out of Knockturn alley. Nagas slid down to the cobblestones and sped off, June took cover behind a barrel of pickled frogs and was just not in the mood to play tag with Deatheaters. Nagas is fast, really fast for a snake that large he slid up behind one of the Deatheaters. Nagas rose up and flared his hood. Nagas is a cobra and hiss is worse that his bite but his appearance is quite scary. The Deatheater screamed drawing the attention of most of his friends. I thought of their wands in my hand and them out cold, pointing my wand and it happened. When the Aurors arrived the Deatheaters were all wrapped up in nice circle and I was conducting my business with SharpKnife in the bank. June was still complaining that her two curses had missed. Nagas was laughing over their false fear of his lethal bite.

June pointed out that the stone statue of Ron was now in front of the Weasley shop as we entered Gringotts. No sooner that we greeted SharpKnife that he stated that the ministry has now a warrant for my arrest for showing muggles magic.

SharpKnife also stated that Gringotts England would not be upset with me if I started removing my money from their control. "The Ministry has several bill submitted to strip you of your wealth. There is no immediate dangers, we can delay this for quite a while but they are very determined."

This was not my week for remaining calm. I borrowed one of Gringotts owls and sent a nice letter to Fudge. I explained that MR. Dumbledore attacked me and my girlfriend in the presence of muggles. Therefore I wished charges to be brought against MR. Dumbledore for attacking a LORD of an ancient and noble house. I further added that if the warrant for my arrest was not cancelled I would personally rip him limb from limb. I also added that he was to send his reply to SharpKnife at Gringotts. SharpKnife told me my purchases would be delivered within a week by secure Gringotts owl. Rather than any chance of further problems I 'slid' June and myself to the Manor and hopefully a quiet evening.

SharpKnife sent an owl the next day stating that Fudge had issued another warrant for threatening the minister. I didn't even wait a second and I slid to Fudges office and we had a little chat. After I explained to Fudge that since I am the one lone person that can kill Voldemort he has a problem. I am leaving England so serve the warrants to Volde. They found Minister Fudge bound and gagged the next morning with a sign pinned to his chest. "Voldemort Lover". Fudge also had a broken nose and a black eye. My next stop was the Dailey Profit to explain the prophesy and I was leaving England to rot under the incompetence of Fudge.

June wasn't about to let me leave alone so we got our paperwork at the registrars office at the University and departed England. We used our Manhattan apartment and attended a university in New York. As usual it was a mini hassle moving, Nagas let Sally flame him in while De'de came with June and I. De'de was again happy to clean a dirty apartment that had yet to accumulate any dust. I am going to one day ask or find out if house elves sleep or have a life. We were only there a couple of days when De'de popped in with the local magical paper and the Dailey Profit from England. It was quite unclear what was going on in England regardless of the paper articles; Fudge lost office with a no confidence vote. Warrant for my arrest were repealed. Voldemort running wild. Dumbledore confident of something being done.

/Scene Break/

The American college we were attending was not worth much. A lot of American hype to get students in, who were not being taught much except garbage like global warming was real and the twelfth imam was new religion of the new world. So we closed down the apartment and transferred back to our London College and Potter Manor. I had long ago arranged for access to my vault for June so money was no object , so no sooner did we get back but she rips out and buys a car. Not a fancy car, not a plush named car, no she buys a vacuüm cleaner on wheels, it looked like a turtle. The Germans called it an Ente. The stupid thing had a motorcycle engine and got over 80 mile per gallon. I had to admit it got from point A to point B with Citroen French efficiency.

The next time we are arriving in our compact mini Ente just outside of Charing Cross road we get to see Draco Malfoy making a verbal attack on Hermione. His mouth is running dribble as it usually does. Hermione does a reply by giving him a right cross to the nose, sending the poof to the ground. June gave Hermione the high-five and we entered the alley.

/Scene Break/

June is hurtling down the Stand from Charing Cross road to the college in her Ente, "De quoi tu parles?" (what the hell are you talking about?) This discussion was going on for the majority of the day.

"I am just reminding you that the safest place is behind me dear."

"I still don't understand why I…"

"Look I don't care how good you think you are, if we run into the bad guys those turkeys can slice you, blow you up, or just kill you outright. I want my future wife to be alive to have a wedding.

"Is that a proposal Mr. Potter?"

"No that's a proposal from Lord Potter so just keep your hands on the wheel of this monster."

"I still would like getting my hands on you like when I ride your broom stick, this car can be no fun sometimes."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- Let me give you something

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The next day we returned to Diagon Alley and Gringotts. The Dailey Profit was still all covering the Tri-wizard tournament and all the trilling tasks. Our business was to convert a pile of Galleons to muggle money and deposit into a muggle bank under the Evans name. I was worried about the next turn of events where I was wanted for breathing to loud. I dragged June down to the vaults for an engagement ring. Afterward a large dish of ice cream was called for at Fortescue's ice cream parlor.

Voldemort ruined the mood and the banana split I was working on. He sent in ten of his goons all dressed in black and then he followed. The rumor was that Volde did a ritual to get his body back if you could call that a body. Man was he ugly and could talk you to death before he killed you. He came down the street and headed straight for June and I. When he stopped walking and started talking I gave him something to think about.

"Tommy my boy, Death sends his salutations and is looking forward to collect the rest of your horicrux's."

If a snake could turn any more green that's what Volde did before he started flinging 'Avada Kedavra' curses. As any good ice cream parlor there were a multitude of chairs, tables and benches. As I called the furniture into action I transfigured them to stop the 'Avada Kedavra' and then banished the pieces back to Volde and his minions. Volde was laughing maniacally as his shield was stopping any damage to himself as he threw more 'Avada Kedavra'.

Sam had said Dumbledore was off-limits but Voldemort was mine so I hit him with a 'Confringo' which collapsed his shield and still had enough power left to push him backwards a few feet. He stopped laughing and raised another shield as I shot a piercing curse that went through his shield, his dragon hide vest and left a Galleon size hole in his chest. He looked down at his chest in surprise before he collapsed. Luckily the piercing curse did not hit anyone else. It did go across the street and in-between Madam Malkin's and Gringotts. It still had enough punch to put a small gouge on the side stone wall of Gringotts.

Of course when he fell down supposedly dead his Deatheaters activated a port-key and they disappeared. All the flying shrapnel from metal chairs and tables had ripped up about five of the Deatheaters, four fatally. June let loose a, "C'est quoi ca?" (What the hell is that?) I assumed she was referring to the curse I delivered but it could have been about Volde. I am still not that great with the French language. Some things mean different things based on the tone of delivery.

Volde had ruined my ice cream and now the Aurors were ruining my afternoon. If Volde was my desert for the day Dumbledore was the cherry on top. He came bustling up with dear Snape to escort me to safety. The old goat somewhere had lost the information that I was now an adult and in no way under his authority. Dumbledore was giving me the twinkle and how much danger I was in while Snape was sneering and making derogatory comment about me and my ancestry. I was contemplating challenging Snape to a duel for insulting a Lord as authorized under this stupid culture when the lead Auror had a question for Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore could you give us some further information and the seven horcuxe's that Voldemort made to stay alive?" Dumbles started to hyperventilate as he looked to be having a heart attack. He did not know which way to turn when the reporters converged on him with questions on horcuxe's. Snape had slithered away probably to report to Volde if they got him alive again.

I was almost ready to start enjoying this when I heard a shrill, "Harry Potter!" Molly Weasley was stomping down the street already ranting. She was on about her son Ron the owl pooping station. I grabbed June and we 'slid' to the Ente, I thought a long drive in the country was called for. I'd get De'de to bring a picnic basket later.

/Scene Break/

When I showed up a Hogwarts I was directed, escorted and monitored into Dumbldore's office. I was wondering if I should take a seat when I entered the office but no sooner than I entered the office Dumbledore made my mind up.  
"YOU told them about Horicrux's didn't you!" The elderly grandfather was nowhere to be seen, so I decided to stand.

"Yes I did and the Dailey Profit will have a complete exposé shortly of how many and how many have been destroyed. " I watched Dumbledore's aura flare along with his face.

"Have you any idea how much damage you have done, how many people will die?"

"Nope and I don't care! I have my life planned and this country has no part in it." It seemed that they had more plans for me because I caught the slight nod that Dummy gave to Greasy so Dummy going for his Death-stick wand was no surprise. Snape also pulled his wand, they soon found themselves wanting. Knowing that at least Snape would be throwing dark curses I threw up a silent 'Protego Horribilis' I was going to wand-less bind Snape with 'incarcerous' if I was able to and could then concentrate on Dumbledore and his Death-stick. Dumbledore was the most dangerous.

I still need to practice with this new wand of Sam's, the 'Protego Horribilis' sprang into being but instead of forming in front of me and extending about five feet the wand decided that ten feet was what I cast. Its width also doubled. Repelling shields when hit by a curse have a kick back or recoil. With all the spells and curses that were being cast I should have been pushed backwards especially with the powerful ones Dumbledore was casting.

When I activated my shield it hit Dumbledore's desk I expected protection and being pushed backwards as the curses hit. I was going to roll backwards and lay a spread of curses and a new shield. I got a surprise as I did not get the recoil I exspected. I stood there for a minute with my jaw hanging open. My shield sprung up and pushed outward. My shield pushed Dumbledore's desk into Dumbledore and slammed both into the wall, Snape also found the wall solid. The wall was only about eight feet from my wand the shield tried to exstend ten feet. I called Madam Pomfrey with the 'floe' in the office and then I called De'de. POP!

"De'de tell June it's an emergency and take her to our house. If you can get out trunks safely take them to the house. ONLY if you can do this safely, do you understand? De'de said yes and popped out.

Madam Pomphrey said they would live so I headed to find Professor McGonagall and fill her in before I left Hogwarts. Law or no law it was not safe here so I would transfer to America if I had to or become an American citizen without school, maybe move to Mars, screw their NEWTs. I was just finishing up with Professor McGonagall when an Owl flew in her open window.

It was a short note, Pius Thicknesse elected Minister of Magic, first act was to issued Warrant for your arrest for murder. RUN!

AB

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I slid to our house in Knockturn alley to have a serious talk with June. "June I am at a loss, what are we to do? We can't stay here the rest of our lives, ideas?"

"We definitely need to get out AND get our money transferred; you know they are going after the Goblins vaults for our money along with us in Azkaban."

"America is large but it will be the first place that they will look for us and a long time stay will get us in an illegal resident status." I groaned.

"Harry have you ever said to anyone that I am a French citizen?"

"Not that I remember, your English sounds American since you were trained in America."

"We need to get to SharpKnife immediately." A quick yes dear and we were off. I did the invisibility thing and we slid to Sharpknife's office.

"Ah, Lady Potter since you just appeared I assume you have you husband hidden here somewhere?"

"Sorry about that SharpKnife." I said as I made myself visible again. So we talked. SharpKnife knew that the new Minster was a front for Voldemort and soon Gringotts would be under siege, first with warrants and then by force. The Goblins were already moving to a safer location.

We even got information that even Cuthbert Binns never taught in class. Goblin society had a King and then came bank directors. The Goblins unlike Hogwarts house separation demanded inter-bank marriages. So with all political maneuvering the social bigwig Goblins in England married Goblins in America thus making political ties which meant profit in gold. Soon clan A was well related to clan B so if needed they fought together in wars or if all else failed there was a safe haven to escape too. There was after all a Gringotts in most countries.

All my vaults would be transferred to France as there was a French connection with the Goblins. Transferred with a fee of course. SharpKnife also started, through his cousin, French citizenship paperwork for me as I was married to a French citizen. What surprised me was the paperwork that showed that I was an American citizen with all my school records attached.

After thanking SharpKnife and wishing him a long life I had an idea. I had converted a pile of Galleons to pounds and deposited them here in England a while back. We went to that bank and had them transferred the account to my old home town in America. The cash was safe in whatever muggle bank but if someone was smart enough they could track the cash to America where we were not living. We then moved, AGAIN!

June was not close to her parents and was part of why they sent her to study in America, to get rid of her. She was not interested in meeting or dealing with her parents. I thought that was sad that they just said "go away".


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9-Sam you devil you

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With Hedwick, Nagas and De'de we were going to stand out in a mundane neighborhood so we made our trip to Gringotts France and purchased a small villa on the sea, magical of course with wards. Gringotts put a 'Fidelius' charm on the place for a fee of course. June was the secrets keeper. Life was starting to calm down for us.

England unfortunately was in trouble. Voldemort was back and the ministry had fallen. Everyone that could had headed to Hogwarts as it was the safest place with the Great Albus Dumbledore.

/Scene Break/

Back on Privet Drive a small whale of a man arrived at his freak free house. He thought it might be worth the cost to have a bit of work done on the cupboard under the stairs and of course a complete renovation of the freaks room as he would never be allowed to come back. That was some of the plans, after all enough was enough!

Dudley had been given his instructions and Vernon was almost happy. If that freak or that long white bearded jerk tried to force that freak back into this house there would be consequences.

Vernon had just stepped out of the front door when he heard the distinctive pops meaning that freaks were arriving. Vernon bellowed for Dudley as he ran into the yard. Even Vernon was impressed with the "I am Lord Voldemort and…" However Vernon who did not take kindly to freaks and was mad said…

"You freaks are not welcome and I will not stand for any more of your kind messing with our lives. Get your Labor Party asses away from normal God fearing people."

Riddle was not overly swayed by the rant of degenerate muggles and he raised his wand to capture them and lure Potter in to save them. Unfortunately Dudley, as directed by his father, had received earlier instructions and had grabbed the shotgun. As he waddled out the front door as fast as he could to give the illegal weapon to his father. The fat mini-whale's foot found the cheap weather-stripping on the front door floor that Vernon had personally installed because the Freak was not around to do the work. The mini-whale tripped or stumbled causing him to hurdle his mass out the front door and fall. In the process he pulled the triggers of the shotgun causing the twin barrels to fire. The deer slugs removed most of the arm and chest of the now dead Lord Voldemort. His faithful followers scooped him up and disappeared from #4 Privet Drive with the sound of cheering from one Vernon Dudley. A month later the sounds were quite different as Lord Voldemort returned for his vengeance on the Dursley family.

/Scene Break/

Even with a translation charm this French is for the birds. A tone here or an inflection there and the meaning changes and the stupid translation charm doesn't pick it up. BUT, I have had mundane training at schools in a couple of countries. They look at things differently in each country or handle things differently the result is I am seeing opportunities to make me rich. I realize that I am already rich but it's the thrill of it and I think I am going to go for it as the Americans say.

My own company making me money that I actually earned, yes! Now I have a problem, taxes, the bane of a society. I wanted to ask who was stupid enough to say yes, yes take sixty percent of what I made, as it's only fair. They are crazy or stupid to believe that so I researched and found some answers. All the countries that I do business with want to tax me on 100% of all my world-wide income. Hell if the Germans get 60% and the Dutch get 60% of my income, I owe 20%. Dah, why be in business? Then I checked and researched. An American company over seas paid no taxed to America. An American company on a military installation paid no German taxes. Further all money in the Swiss banks was confidential. The politicians made sure that money for the rich had loop holes and loop holes didn't pay taxes. I had not even started with the Goblins and their working with tax-free money.

/Scene Break/

My June was a whirl wind of social activities. She had balls and social gatherings and of course dragged me along without my glamour charm of Harry Potter. She had the English relief society, the mundane orphanage chapters. Her programs went on and on all in helping those that needed it. While our money covered the balls or meetings the idea was to evolve people while raising money. I could most likely fund all of her activities but the point was if people did not get involved it was all a waste of time. That of course was the problem with most countries; no one wanted to get involved, not really. Those that worked the soup kitchens or food pantries seldom made the papers; no it was the tree huger protecting the old forest for the spotted owls. Funny the old forest burnt down a few years later and the spotted owls found a new forest. Now they all cried over global warming which is another of the hoaxes to raise taxes. The same applied to Riddle and killing muggles, muggles didn't count so who cared? Funny those few that cared were killed yet rising quill prices was front page news backed by the masses.

/Scene Break/

I was happy, my wife was happy and our world was what we wanted.

Then Hedwick brought a note:

Harry Time to go back to Hogwarts the fates have decided. Go alone and just be you. You need to be there now!

Sam

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The English Ministry of Magic was infiltrated and being directed by Voldemort's forces. Riddle had taken everything except Hogwarts. That was the bastion of Light and their leader Albutt Dumbledore. I was waiting for the mundane in England to mobilize and wipe out the entire magical community. Right then, with full information, complete disclosure and detailed instructions... Oh well its just like always, just wing it!

"Sally! Dear friend I need to go to Hogwarts, let's try the Great Hall." It's always good to make a grand appearance.

/Scene Break/

The Great Hall Hogwarts:

Sally flashed me in and the Hall went silent, this was what I needed for my great speech. A quick scan of the head table was not impressive. Besides the normal teachers and losers there were Hermione and Ginny Weasley. I almost laughed as I saw the statue of Ron with a couple of owls on his shoulders and his head while he was positioned, in his stony magnificence, by the head table. A sign was on him that stated that the trader Harry Potter had done this to his best friend.

I raised a shield as I stated, "It's nice to be back among all those who missed and loved me." I waved my wand and Ron returned to being his obnoxious self. Hermione was sending hexes at him before he could get to far in his rant. I then announced just to make with the theatrics, "Death has asked me to return so more than likely Tommy Riddle will arrive shortly. Oh for the non informed that is Lord Voldemort."

While some screamed and some sent curses the alarms of Hogwarts went off. Dumble-ass rose and told everyone to be calm as panic rained. He them directed everyone back to their dorms and the stampede was inspiriting for the sheep. Dumble-I-have a plan, then told me, "Harry your fate as I have envisioned it is now at hand. Your going to win this as the prophesy predicted or you will die and I will then beat Voldemort and become the greatest and better that Merlin. "

"Sorry shit for brains but while I do not know how this will end I do know you have already lost, Death has directed me so lets head out and see what the fates have in-store for us."

It was an epic battle, Dumbledore's Deathstick and my wand from Death really eliminated a lot of stupid bad or evil people. The battle was full of blood and death. Some of the battle was almost funny when my 'Levicorpus' of a giant did not stop it from swinging his club. Almost like a mixer with a whisk swinging around the Deatheater. Hogsmeade prople along with Order of the Phoenix members charged in to die along with Deatheaters. The Vampires took exception to my fire dragon while the rest of his forces were shredded by me and Dumbledore. It slowly came to the three of us facing each other. I was taken out by the first "Avada Kedavra" Voldemort sent at me. It was almost relaxing, no pain and I was done it was all over, no more fighting and hopefully no more pain.

/Scene Break/

Hello Harry, how's the world treating you? Asked Death aka Sam.

"Are you attempting to be funny? I'm dead or should I rephrase that, my life is over."

"Who's been spreading rumors about you, that's one I haven't heard!"

"I have a nasty feeling that you have more plans for me or am I wrong?" I was really afraid to ask.

"Unfortunately I want a little satisfaction or gloating, so yes you are going back at least one more time."

"You know Sam, in a perverse way you are having too much fun through me."

"Well you could always say the devil made you do it."

"Bad joke or are you the devil and death?" I somehow really didn't want to know.

"Sorry Harry that you have to find out later. Right now you get to go back, happy fighting!" I reappeared on the battle field as Dumb-ass and Molde-shorts were going at it with a vengeance.

"Hi guys, miss me?" That stopped them for a second but then they both sent a 'Avada Kedavra' at me. I slid away to behind Dumbledork and was about to say a whitty "better luck next time" when Molde-shorts fired another 'Avada Kedavra' and hit Dumb-ass between the eyes. I was just down to the last problem in my life and I thought maybe once to an 'Avada Kedavra" would be authorized or overlooked. Naw to easy on someone that's done all the nasty evil things to people, he should suffer. I used Snapes curse with all my power with Sam's wand and may I never do that again against anyone. 'Sectumsempra' flew and it did what a hamburger grinder does to make hamburger. But unlike 'Avada Kedavra' it was not instant or painless.

I just stood there thinking it was all over when curses flew at me from the remaining Deatheaters. There may have also been some from the good guys. Sally flashed in and grabbed me and dropped me in front of June. Now I was completely scared, she was going to be super mad for getting evolved. She just shook her head and gave me a hug and asked what happened. I knew if I didn't tell her I was in a world of hurt and if I did tell her she was going to kill me. She just shook her head and said she would kill me if I did anything like that again and she then took me to the bath and to bed and tried to kill me in a very nice way.

Lemon cut: (For you who like to live in world of wild sex)

So that's the end of the story and we lived happily ever after... Are you kidding?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10—A shot at the Dersley's

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The birds were singing, the weather was fantastic and we had not a worry in the world. Nope, 'Here comes Sam' and we are now sitting in his little reception room. Sam starts the insanity.

"Sorry you guys but there has been a little snag in the time line."

"June are you alright?" I asked.

"Yes, just nervous, it's not everyday you bump into Death."

"So do I ask or is this merry-go-round finally going to let us off?"

"Sorry Harry there are a lot of upset entities up here because Dumbledore threw us a curve. Your great leader of the light made some Horicurx's for himself." Sam let that sink in before he continued… The 'Fates' are not going to let that twist stand. They have stamped finished to that time line and started a new one."

"Do I have the impression that these "Fate" people had more plans for me after we did in Volde and Dumbles?"

I did not like where this could go. So I asked…"Assuming that I win against the two great boobs what happens after that?" I was worried about another dark lord or…?

"Sorry Harry we can't give out the last chapter of the book, we don't do spoilers."

"This is not fair, hasn't Harry had enough troubles, beatings and now deaths? June growled.

"Now there is a mundane saying that you can't beat city hall. They have agreed to let you two keep your memories, capabilities and Harry keeps his special wand. However this comes with a warning that not all the bad guy and girls will be still bad. "

"So all I have to do is blast Volde and Dumbles the next time I see them and we can live our own lives in peace?" I knew that wasn't going to happen but I hoped.

"No Harry you and June will go to a point in the time line. I believe it's the summer after the Department of Mysteries. While I don't recommend you blast those two as you would face the existing laws of that time line. They have stated that you may do whatever you with your lives you have no restrictions from us."

I had a grin on my face as I thought of all the fun I could have, but I quickly lost the grin as some of the bad popped into my thoughts. I should have asked a few more questions or demanded more answers. My pause, then blink and I found myself in a younger body on my bed at Privet Drive.

This turned into the busiest summer I think I have ever had. I had no sooner stood up when an Owl flew into the room and offered a letter. While I untied the letter another Owl flew in. I had put the first letter in my pocket and had just gotten the second letter when Vernon burst into the room and grabbed me and started yelling and dragging me towards the stairs. A fifteen year old is no match for the size and the strength of Vernon Dersley. He dragged me to and threw me down the stairs. This was not going to continue, I now had a lesson to convey. I 'slid' in mid-fall to the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Even though I landed on my back I stopped Dudley's kick aimed at my head by blasting him across the room.

Vernon was thundering down the stairs screaming threats while Petunia came out of the kitchen with a knife raised as to strike. I stunned Petunia and blasted Vernon up the stairs. I then stunned Dudley and then Vernon. I used the 'petrificus totalus' after I removed the stunners and stacked them against the wall in the living room. I slowly walked up the stairs and considered demonstrating a few curses before I left but I just was not into that, so I just got my picture album from under the loose floor board. I left everything else as I had, no need for junk. I sat on the couch and had a few words for the Dursley's. Feeling a bit better I got ready to leave. I crossed my fingers and said, "Sally?"

She flamed in and that alone lifted my spirits, "Sally love, could you take me to June?" We were gone in a flash.

The binding spell would wear off the Dursley's in a few hours.

I found myself in France and June in my arms kissing the air out of me. Then all to soon the work started. We went to Gringotts…

"Yes I need to access my vaults in England, the name is Harry Potter. "

"Yes Mr. Potter Gringotts England has been extremely interested in contacting you. My name is IronFist and the bank manager here in Gringotts France."

We did get a small break in the process of proving who I was, the tests showed June and I were married. That bypassed a lot of rules and made us adults. As an adult I had access to all my family vaults. IronFist got me all the paper work from driver's licenses to citizenship paperwork in France, to certificates of marriage in England as well as driver licenses and passports for America. I needed to return to England for the Black will reading which was in a week. I asked why I was getting so much service here in France when I did'nt get as much in England?

"Each country has a Gringotts but each Gringotts is run by its own clan. Clan's are at peace with each other but could care less if another clan is in trouble unless it makes us some gold. You have been making us gold so we keep out customers happy." IronFist replied.

Loaded down with new credit cards, Galleons and Franks we got a hotel room just down the road from the magical street. June was settling in and just out of habit I called, "De'de."

De'de did not come so we needed to see if we could chase her down when we were in England.

"Tomorrow dear we go shopping for new clothes, trunks and…"June started.

"Ah, why do we need trunks?" I was confused.

"Do you think that we are going to just wonder around as fifteen year olds we need to be in school to earn OWLs or are we going to get the Goblins to get us registered in three countries as having completed school?

"Personally I am not going to sit in a school learning stuff I already know!"

"How about going to University?" June suggested and I just nodded.

Shopping took the entire next day. Then the Goblin's did the OWL and NEWT documentation and we 'floed' to England on the will reading day.

We slipped out of Diagon Alley and rented a muggle hotel room before heading back to Knockturn. We never found De'de at the elf store in Knockturn ally and ended up purchasing Sissy. We sent her off to our hotel room before I put on the Harry Potter glamour and entered Gringotts. This was going to be a test of a number of people, the rest would be tested later. We almost made it to the master teller.

"Harry what are you doing here, come on Dumbledore wants you at Privet Drive. " Tonks dressed in her red Auror robes grabbed my arm and attempted to drag me out of Gringotts. She got my special electrical shock which made her release me while I said in a loud voice, "Madam you have no authority here in Gringotts so you will not accost me further." That brought the Goblin guards. Tonks made a serious mistake and drew her wand. This indicated to me that Dumble's Turkey club was in place here in this time line and I was a controlled item.

Gringotts is sovereign soil and using magic can get you killed. Tonks had a number of halberds at her neck, "Witch you are in Gringotts put the wand away or die."

While Tonks was doing mea culpa June and I asked the Master Goblin for directions to the Black will reading. We were escorted to a conference room which contained only a large oval table and chairs around the table. There were chairs scattered around the wall. We took two against the wall which were by themselves. The next set of three chairs were about six feet away from us.

That is one ornate chair; I wonder who gets that chair?" I wondered out loud.

""It is at the tables head so maybe and Account Manager or maybe the Bank Manager?" June guessed.

"There must be thousand in jewels and gold in that chair."

A dozen Goblins warriors marched into the room and took positions between the chairs that lined the walls. Tonks then came in with another older woman who took chairs along the far wall. Tonks was staring daggers at me.

Then came the Weasley's minus Bill and Charley. This brought a "Hi, mate, what are you doing here?" he made a bee line towards me.

"Ron I think its called sitting." Ron stood in front of me and gave June a nasty look and then tried to grab a chair to drag over next to June and myself. The Goblins put a halberd at Ron's neck. Molly Weasley ran over and drug him over with the rest of the Weasley's. The Weasley clan had seated themselves on one side of the table.

"Hay ScarHead come to see me become Lord Black?" I just ignored him. He sat at the table opposite he head's chair.

Remus Lupin and Hermione came in together and both came over to me. She started in typical Hermione fashion, "How are you Harry, I thought you couldn't make it, how are the Dersley's treating you, who is this girl?"

"Hermione this is June"

"Harry where are your guards and how did you get here?" Lupin asked.

"I assume the guards you are speaking of are guarding Privet drive and I 'floed' here." They took seating at the table as SharpKnife arrived.

Since SharpKnife did not acknowledge me it must mean he was not in on the time line change.

Dumbledore arrived fashionably late and did a double take when he saw me. He started to head towards me when Sharpknife told him to take a seat as the reading was to start.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11—The rest of the summer

.

Sirius Black was a prankster and he didn't let his last will go without causing as much trouble as he thought fair. He left Lupin with #12 Grimwald place with the hope he would give the Order of the Phoenix the bums rush. Hermione got the book library without restrictions at Black Manor. He restored the Tonks family back into the Black family while kicking Bella and Mrs. Malfoy out of the Black family. He left some money to a few but then he really got started and gave me a good idea where most stood in Sirius opinion. He gave Ron 30 Sickles and Dumbledore a Knut, Ron missed the biblical reference.

Dumbledore looked the maddest in the room until Draco got kicked out of the family Black and I got the title and all the rest of the money. Draco pitched such a commotion that the Goblin Warriors in the room got to kick his ass out of Gringotts. The Goblins didn't figuratively kick him out the actually kicked his ass using boots, halberds and clubs. The Goblins were grinning when I ordered all my properties liquidated and he cash deposited into the Black vaults. They lost their gins about three months later.

With the will reading completed I had to deal with Dumbledore. "Harry it too dangerous for you to be outside your relative's house, I will have you escorted back…" I cut him off…

"I'm afraid Mr. Dumbledore that would interfere with my vacation, so no thank you."

"Harry I must insist…

"I again cut him off by addressing SharpKnife, "SharpKnife could you provide me a private room for a few minutes where my friend and I can be alone, AND NO that does not mean you Dumbledore!" SharpKnife nodded and June and I followed him, Dumbledore attempted to follow but ran into a couple of halberds in his path.

"Thank you Sharpknife I needed to get rid of Dumbledore."

"I am afraid he will is the type and will not take no for an answer." SharpKnife grinned.

"Yes he will not, but I will make sure any disturbance will be outside of the bank. It was fairly simple, we transformed out robes to different styles and colors. I dropped my Harry Potter glamour and June put on glamour of a short-haired business type female. Actually she looked more like my mother but I would never say that out loud. Dumbledore and his birdie club were awaiting us in front of the bank. By the time we were past the Goblin wards and he could cancel our glamour's we could also 'apperate' and we 'slid' away. That brought up another project for the summer.

Our next project was to have Sally flame us to Gringotts France and used their international 'floe' connection to America. We rented a Hotel until we finalized our new house under the name of Mr. and Mrs. Harold Jimmy Evans. Gringotts America got us all the necessary documents and drivers licenses. Our new house was a ranch house on twenty-six acres definitely out in the country. We also bought a ¾ ton pickup truck with tinted windows so Sissy could ride in the back. She got a kick out of that, like a child she just jumped up and down on the back seat and pointed.

Our next project was off to Switzerland and the Kleinmanneken Banken(Gnome's bank Switzerland). I signed documents transferring the Black vaults to the Gnome's bank. I also had them transfer a quarter of the Potter vault into dollars and had them deposited into an American subsidiary muggle bank. I was not planning to come near a Gringotts bank for quite a while as they should be a little tee'ed off losing all that gold. The Gnomes also got us international 'apperation' licenses and had all Owl mail diverted to their bank for processing. So then the life I thought we deserved started.

We booked a trip on a cruise ship, and then we started visiting places that grabbed our fancy. All this traveling was now by mundane aircraft, cruise ship or truck. I was also hooked on exercise. Whether I ran around the deck of the ship or the twenty-six acres, I ran. I had weights at the house and there always was a gym around if we were not home. June would join although at a more moderate pace. June was more into driving my hormones crazy.

However, fun in the sun soon becomes a bit boring so something else was needed to occupy our time. June came up with Wiz-Tech University. I got some time in computers and June got into advanced runes. We both tried charm creation courses. All this fun came to a screeching halt as one day the telephone rang asking me to pick up an international package. The package had a letter and a port-key.

Sissy packed our muggle clothing; we put on our invisible wand arm holsters and activated the port-key.

"Lord Potter so nice to see you although you will not like this visit, we do hope you enjoy your visit to Switzerland. " Hanz said as he shook out hands.

"So what is the problem Hanz?"

"It seems that Hogwarts England has a tournament running and your name has come out of a magical Goblet which has formed a magical contract. You will be required to compete in three difficult tasks or if you don't compete you will lose your magic."

"So Hanz let me guess the contest is being run by Dumbledore and refereed by Lord Voldemort?"

"Yes Dumbledore is hosting the contest but I have no idea the names of the referees."

"Hanz could you arrange a port-key to Hogwarts and another one returning us here? I would also like information on the surrounding area around Hogwarts, what going on in England and a good hotel close to the school."

"Consider it done, I will have it all for you in the morning. Enjoy your stay"

"Thanks Hanz."

"Well June it looks like someone is playing games with me again are you sure I can't talk you out of going?"

"Harry you will be sleeping on the couch if you keep talking like that of course I am coming."

/Scene Break/

Front Gate Hogwarts:

"Do they always keep the gates locked?"

"Yes dear, hang on I am going to 'slide' us to the Great Hall."

It was a grand entrance and a verbal battle." As soon as we appeared I hear, "Ah Mr. Potter, please follow me to my office." Dumbledore directed.

"Sorry not today, have someone show us to our private quarters."

"I'm afraid that is not possible Harry you…" I cut him off…

"That's Lord Potter and if it's not possible we will see you the morning of the first task." I grabbed June's hand and 'slid' to Hogsmeade Village and got a room for at least that night.

"That was a friendly welcome" laughed June.

"I am not in the mood anymore to listen to the dung that they shovel. We would still be arguing over getting a room or you staying at Hogwarts or the time of day in Bangkok."

"So what are we going to do?"

"You my dear are going to stay here in the room and I am going to become invisible and do some snooping. I should be back in two hours." I 'slipped' to the Great Hall to find the Head table in discussion which I stepped up to listen too. Too start with it was the same as I remembered it, Snape wanting to boil me in oil, McGonagall worried over my disrespect and Dumbledore twinkling as he monitored the discussions.

"Severus when you get time this evening see me in my office."

"Yes Headmaster" and the hall started to break up and head to their respective areas. I followed Ron and Hermione back to the Gryffindor common room. Where Hermione started asking questions, "Ron did you think the Headmaster was a bit rude to Harry? What do you think Neville?"

"If anybody was rude it was Harry and who was that tart he's hanging out with?" Ron snarled.

"Are you not being a bit harsh, you haven't talked with Harry in a long time?" Neville asked.

"I'm going out for a walk, see you later." Ron got up and left the common room, I followed. Then I saw an interesting sight, he pulls out an invisibility cloak and puts it on. That's curious, those cloaks cost a lot of money and the Weasley's never have money.

I can't follow what I can't see so I headed to the Headmasters office. I 'slid' into Dumbledore's office just as Snape was entering.

"Ah Severus did you finish the potions?

"Yes Headmaster I have them right here."

"Weasley should be here shortly, we need to get Harry under our control. How is Tom doing these days?"

"He is pissed, he wanted to use Potters blood for his return ritual but with Potter gone he decided not to wait and to use another's blood in his ritual. Other than that he appears to be alright."

"Ah Mr. Weasley has arrived... Enter Mr. Weasley."

"You wanted to see me Headmaster?"

"Yes Severus has the love potion that your sister is to use on Harry. The other vial is to be used all at once. Severus will give you the doses and how often the love potion is to be administered. Have you had any luck convincing Miss Granger to join our endeavors?"

"No she is totally in the arrogant gits corner as is Longbottom. I may be able to convince Finnegan but he is still not convinced yet."

I 'slid' back to our room with I hoped was a clear picture of who not to trust.

Disclaimer:

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc.  
The original characters and plot are the property of the author i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc.  
This work is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.  
No copyright infringement is intended. Not for sale or profit but hopefully keeps me off the playground.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12—The first task  
.

I was right about the Goblins not being happy with me but I just felt that having all your wealth in one basket was asking for trouble. The Ministry of England was also a motivating factor to keep my funds out of their hands.

Another faction that was most likely having "How can I get Harry Potter" feelings was Rita Skeeter and the Dailey Profit. I was on the front page of the Dailey Profit as "The Boy who lived", "The Boy who returned", "The liar who entered the tournament", and now "Where is the boy?"

June and I talked about it and sent an Owl to Rita asking if she wanted an interview at the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley. It's not our fault that Rita brought a photographer besides we never authorized any photos. June under a glamour charm entered the Leaky Cauldron and secured a table in the back. A few minutes later I entered with my glamour charm as 'the boy who lived' short hair and scar.

"Hello Miss Skeeter please have a seat, care for something to drink?" I wanted to be polite before she started. Even if she did not know the word.

"So Harry where have you been hiding all these years?"

"We have been living in America."

"But why America what's wrong with England." Rita was making this way to easy for me.

"You jest Miss Skeeter, let me give you a few reasons why magical England is not long for this world. Minister Fudge has Deatheater advisors, the ministry is full of Deatheater workers, the Wizengemott is run by a senile Chief Warlock who only wants to control me and Gringotts is probably pulling out its gold from England as we speak. You can call me crazy or attention seeking but in the end America is where I live."

"Surely you are not serious?" Rita's quill was smoking about this time.

"Your senile old goat that is supposedly keeping your kids safe is having dragons at Hogwarts as the first task, and then he will procure hostages from the student population as hostages to put at the bottom of the lake for the second task. The third task is a maze full of dangerous creatures like an acromantula, a Blast-Ended Skrewt and a Spinx. There are even rumors of love potions, controlling potions and a polli-juiced Deatheater running around Hogwarts. Now if I am not mistaken the Ministry had to authorize some of those creatures for entry into England. You may think I am crazy or deluded but I am the one who never entered the contest yet if I don't compete I lose my magic. "

"Your crazy, Albus Dumbledore is respected throughout the World he…"

"Yea. Yea. I've heard it before and…tell you what, grab my hand."

I 'slid' June and Rita to the Forbidden Forest where they kept the dragons. I think she soiled herself because she ran to the WC when I 'slid' them back to the Leaky Cauldron. When she returned she wanted to know all the rumors and dirt I could give. Meanwhile her photo man was taking pictures. When the article came out we found that Rita could do photo's also as there were pictures of the dragon we saw in the forest.

"So Harry give me the dirt on the rumors, who is going to get the love potions?"

"As I said they are rumors and if you put names to the people it's on your head but…there is a red-headed girl who got the potions from her red-headed brother who stinks at potion brewing. That gives one to question who authorized a master potion brewer to make those potions? You will of course check all my claims before publishing won't you Miss Skeeter?"

"Yes indeed but first you have to tell me who this lovely lady is who isn't saying much."

"Oh excuse me, Rita this is Lady June Potter, my wife." Rita's quill exploded. You had to wonder how Rita does it, not only did pictures of Harry Potter appear in the paper but also a ministry worker reaching for something and the Dark Mark clearly on his arm. Ginny Weasley crying and saying Ron made me do it and Ron running away as fast as he could.

The day after that was the first task, we 'slid' into the Great Hall for breakfast and the yelling. Both of our glamour spells were applied for the public as neither of us wanted to be found because they would if people knew what we really looked like. As soon as we appeared we saw that the Great Hall was full of Ministry people, Wizengamot people and other muckety mucks.

"Ah Mr. Potter, please follow me to my office." It does seem that one time line is fairly constant in his repertoire.

"I don't think so, I am here for a chat with my friends and you fail to qualify."

That brought a "Hay mate, I saved a seat for you."

"I say Ron don't you read the Dailey Profit? Hermione would you care to join us over at the other end of the table?"

"Harry you really don't believe what that skeeter woman wrote do you?" Hermione always was a hard one to convince.

"Sorry I was there when Snape gave Ron the two potions."

"You lying brat just like your father always trying to get attention."

"That's better than being a greasy ass kisser whose loyalties are still in question."

Snape of course drew his wand and fired a couple curses at me however June and I were not there anymore. I 'slid' behind him, stunned him and let him fall to the floor. Madam Pomfrey rushed to attend to the two injured students from Snape's curses.

Dumbledore again played his wore out tune, "Ah Mr. Potter, please follow me to my office."

After a carefully aimed middle finger June and I took our seats at the end of the Gryffindor table were Hermione joined us.

"Harry what is all this about?"

"Hermione as crazy as this might seem the Harry Potter you knew for you first years here at Hogwarts has changed." I could not tell her he was gone and I was his replacement, this was crazy enough.

"I need for you to tell Neville all this as I believe you have not joined Dumbles to get Harry Potter, Ron has. So mainly all I am saying is do not trust Ron, Ginny or Dumbledore. I assume Snape is a given. "

"Is this really your wife?"

"Yes Hermione I am June and his wife, he will be getting some major couch time if he keeps forgetting to introducing me."

"Sorry dear."

Things got a bit hectic as Aurors entered the Great Hall. "Severus Snape put your wand on the table and step back." It seemed that someone had summoned the DMLE.

"Honored guests, students and champions its time to head to the arena for the first task." Dumbledore stated as he turned and started arguing with the Aurors over them hauling Snape away.

/Scene Break/

I drew the Hungarian Horntail with the number four indicating I went last.

The other three champions made it though in worse shape than when they started but were fixed up by Madam Pomfrey as normal. She really needs a pay raise working here at Hogwarts.

When I entered the arena all I could say was "Aren't you a big ugly sucker!"

I picked up a stone and threw it at the dragon, pulled my wand and sent a tickling charm. I then used a 'sonorus' charm and said well that's it I tried and I then 'slid' to the hospital tent. The dragon hadn't even let loose its fiery breath. I found Ron, Hermione, Neville and June awaiting me in the tent. June did a hug, Hermione did a death hug and added, "How can you 'apperate' Hogwarts a history say no one can 'apperate' on Hogwarts grounds."

"Your right I didn't 'apperate'…I got no further when Ron gives me a "That was great Mate do you want to play some chess after dinner?" While I was shaking my head in disbelief June hooked arms with me and steered me towards the castle.

"Is he that stupid or that dense?" June asked.

"You haven't been around this place much, wait a little longer and I think you will get your answer. Right now all I want is to find out what's next and when. After arriving in the Great Hall they announced the standings and when I got zero I cheered loudly and June clapped. That got some weird looks from the students.

Professor McGonagall approached, Mr. Potter your quarters have been prepared, I will have an elf escort you there after the Headmaster is finished with his announcements.

I just looked at June and said, "What were you just asking?"

Dumbledore's speech was pomp and ceremony but he did announce the Yule Ball on December fifteenth where the champions would act as masters of ceremonies. All champions were required to attend was stressed heavily by Dumbledore.

"I wonder who that last part applies too? I whispered to June.

We were about to leave Hogwarts when...

"Hay Scarhead, zero points trying to impress the Dark Lord with your incompetence?" In a loud voice I replied, "Well if it isn't Mr. Modest, say is Lucius still groveling at Moldeshorts feet?"

"Your going to get yours Scarhead…" I cut off the rant, "Draco I already have mine all you are going to get is a burning mark on your arm." I put my arm around June but slipped my wand out for a quick sheild. I thought it was best be prepared.

"Sectumsempra" yelled Draco as my shield came into place. The curse bounced off into the students. I just mumbled 'stupify' and Draco toppled over. Madam Pomprey was cursing like a sailor as she attended the injured students. The Aurors now had another for the holding cells at the Ministry.

"I asked "Is he that stupid or that dense?' you were right it was a foolish question this place should be confined to a St. Mungo ward for the mentally impaired."

"Just wait they all will be back, Dumbledork will get Greasy out somehow, Lucius will bribe Fudge and Draco will be cleared. The only people who will suffer are the ones that got hurt by them."

"Ah Mr. Potter, please follow me to my office." We both cracked up with laugher.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13—He's mine and you can't have him

I asked Rita to stop on by and have a drink and maybe get an interview. She was there with a new quick-quill and ready to smear.

"So Harry what rumors do you have for me?"

"First let's start with facts. In the Great Hall of Hogwarts in and in front of Dumbledore his pet Deatheater sent a lethal curse at me but hit innocent students. Draco Malfoy did the same also injuring students in front of Dumbledore a few minutes later. The DMLE did their job as required but here is where the rumors start. "

"You have my attention, what rumors?"

"Lucius Malfoy has bribed Fudge and Draco is free of all charges. Snape is also free courtesy of Dumbledore. I also heard a rumor that Dumbledore's minions will apply to the Wizengamot for control of Harry Potter."

"Does the rumors provide any light why Dumbledore wants to control you?" Rita was holding her breath that she was going to get a real story. Lucius and Fudge was old news.

"Well there is supposed to be a prophesy about me that Dumbledore has not told me yet. The big rumor is that Dumbledore knows how Voldemort is able to come back after he was killed. Voldemort has made a whole bunch of horicruxs and as long as they exist he can not be killed." Rita was about ready to set a new land speed record to get this to press when Harry Potter was attacked.

June just patted Rita's arm and said, "Just sit and relax Harry likes a good workout just keep a shield handy for any stray spells." Rita was busy taking names as Harry was having his fun.

MadEye Moody started it all, "Come with us son, you can't take us all on. Just give me your wand and follow me."

"What no Dumbledore?" Harry answered.

"He's busy so he sent us." Minerva said.

Tonks, Kingley and Alaster spread out to the left and right of Harry. Snape stepped forward and fired off a curse and Rita saw a battle like no other. Harry sent a series of 'confringo' spells each followed by a 'Stupify'. Hesta Jones, Emmeline Vance and Elpias Doge fell to the floor and out of the fight. Snape raised a shield as Harry's over powered 'Confringo' hit Snape and knocking him across the street. Harry took pleasure to see Snapes shield fail as the wall he hit knocked him out. Alastor, Kingley and Tonks had let loose several curses that passed thru where Harry was standing as he 'slipped' behind them and cast an 'impedimenta' to each before hitting each with a 'stupify'.

"Professor McGonagall do you really want to continue?" she took a look around and 'apperarted' away. Rita disappeared almost as quickly.

"Guess we best leave before Dumbdumb sends reinforcements." Harry and June slipped away.

/Scene Break/

Ranch house in America:

"Morgana it's good to drop the glamour charm, I get to see my beautiful wife and not some imitation."

"Well it's your wish we wear them, so you have no standing to complain."

"Your right but when they see the glamour they see a twelve-year-old face with spiky hair and the scar clearly displayed."

"Yes you definitely look different without the glamour, I don't think anyone would recognize you."

"So where do we spent this holiday?"

"Anywhere you want my dear, your wish is where we go." A happy wife meant a happy me.

/Scene Break/

Meanwhile Dumbledore was at the Wizengamot pushing through a new law using his minion Arthur Weasley's. The 'Assist Harry Potter' law passed easily. While the wording was smooth and it however contained many hidden clauses like vault confiscation. It was passed a few hours before the Dailey Profit was published. All hell was going to explode in the very near future but then again what was new about that?

/Scene Break/

We returned to Hogsmeade Village and rented a room until we could find a Hotel room in downtown London. We were still trying to decide on what I would do for the second task which was in two days. My bad luck was holding as we decided to take a walk. I was interested in checking out Spintwitches Quittitch Supplies while June was heading to Gladrags. We chatted and strolled down the main street when fifteen Deatheaters 'apperated' in by Scrivenshaft's as we passed by Zonkos.

The twenty Deatheater that 'apperated' in by the Post office was not especially comforting since Voldemort was following them towards me and June. Five werewolves came running across the street from the Post office by Honeydukes. I was not planning on dueling or having a chat with Voldemort but whoever cared what I wanted except my wife and that was sometimes in question. The Deatheaters at Scrivenshaft's were closer so they got 'flammis Aeternitate' (Flames of Eternity). I swung back to the charging werewolves and yelled 'tela argenti' (darts of silver) while June's shield was coming under intense fire. She held it firm allowing me to continue on the offensive. I had one more spell to cast before I could check how many were left for us to face. 'Fulqur desuper' I screamed and Voldemort was hit from 'the lighting from above' along with his personal guard surrounding him. Well it looked like that was what happened.

There was no Voldemort left just a large smoking hole. A number of Deatheaters still standing around the street 'apperated' away. I turned to the first group and found that those that were able had also 'apperated'. The five werewolves were all dead from the silver darts. The 'pops' we heard were Aurors coming to the rescue.

"Lad, peace, there will be no attack coming from me, I just want to talk." Madeye was walking towards us with his hands in the air.

"So what's your problem MadEye?" I was not happy.

"Dumbledore has passed a law through the Wizengamot that states you are required to live in the Castle until the tournament is completed. I just wanted to pass that along.

"Well June it appears that our lodging has been taken care for us, lead the way MadEye." As we walked to the castle I raised a silence charm and told June, "Dear I need you to call Sally the minute you are alone and don't return until the minute the tri-wizard task starts. If you have a chance visit out vault and grab as much as you can, I mean a trunk full or more, empty the vault if you can, just don't get into trouble."

"I want to stay with you my dear."

"Look they will snatch you and make you a hostage at the bottom of the lake. This is no game and I wouldn't put it past them to have you die so the 'potion girl' has a chance at me."

The fools escorted us to private quarters and left us alone. Sally was called and June left. Not twenty minutes later McGonagall came looking for June. I told her June was out wondering in the castle as the place was new to her. I also said that I would be down for dinner in a few minutes. When McGonagall left I was…

"Hello Harry I see you have a problem." Sam had appeared in the room.

"They have me in a bind but we will leave in a couple of days regardless of what they want. What brings you here have I died again?"

"No Harry these people want a couple of things from you and then they want you dead. The dead part is still a couple of years down the road but in the mean time they want to control you among many things. First let me have your wand of destiny."

Sam grabbed the wand which started to glow, when the glow stopped he handed it back.

"Harry you and June can handle this wand anyone else will regret touching this wand based on their intent." Sam put the wand on the table by the wall.

"Harry say 'wand to me'." When I did it flew into my hand.

"Do not let this wand out of your sight but have no fear of them ever taking it from you. Now I want you to know you are now free from restrictions. If they want to fight you for what ever reason just fight them, if it's to their death it will be their fault. You did well sending June away and I will make sure she ends up at your ranch so the minute this task is finished leave and go to your ranch."

"Sam what's going on?"

"These people have lost all reason and will end with Hades, but for now they are extremely dangerous. They are heading for a disaster but that's there problem." Death just disappeared without further instructions.

/Scene Break/

Great Hall that evening:

"Mr. Potter, where is your wife?" Snape sneered.

"None of your business greasy."

"Mr. Potter, please follow me to my office." Dumbledore directed.

"Go jump in the lake."

"The law now gives me the power as your magical guardian, report to my office!"

"Go kiss a Hippogriff you old goat."

"Severus, take his wand" Dumbledore drew his wand as did numerous teachers.

I took out my wand and laid it on the table and said, "Snivilus I would not touch that wand, grease fires are so hard to put out." I was kidding as Sam had not said what would happen if someone took the wand. He grabbed the wand and Snape burst into flames. The teachers tried to put out the flames but he burnt till he was ash. The wand was undamaged and I reached for it.

"Do not touch that wand." Dumbledore ordered as he approached and levitated the wand. He headed towards the door of the Great Hall, he was leaving with the levitated wand.

"WAND TO ME!" the wand flew to my hand. "I warned your greasy butt buddy, now I warn you, back down, the wand stays with me!" Dumbledore left without another word.

/Scene Break/

I sat at the Slytherin table and just hoped Draco would let me have some stress release but he kept his mouth shut. Krum and I discussed Quittage for the dinner meal. I checked my food for potions but found none. For breakfast I sat with Fleur but she was too snooty to talk about anything. The breakfast I left alone as it was full of potions as was my orange juice. Lunch found me chatting in the Great Hall with Diggery and a picnic basket on the table from Sissy. Dumbledore had been missing for all these meals but now showed up for dinner. Of course it started with, "Ah Mr. Potter, please follow me to my office." He said he wanted to discuss many things with me.

"Just remember my last response to you for that statement." Dumbdumb got the middle finger.

"Mr. Potter where is your wife?" This quieted the Great Hall substantially.

"Like most wives probably out shopping."

"Make sure she sees me when she returns."

"Oh didn't I tell you she won't be back this month.

"Mr. Potter I would not like you to be alone in this trying time. I think you should move into the dorm with your friend Mr. Weasley." I started laughing.

"You are a piece of work, the potion dealer Ron Weasley is not a friend, hell Draco Malfoy is more a friend that Ron."

If I thought that would be all, I was wrong.

"I found you trust vault empty could you explain this discrepancy?" The Great Hall was now quiet with the student's full attention to the exchange.

"Got a wife to support, she has expensive habits." I was going to break into laughter if this continues for much longer. I had figured out that the law probably let Dumbledore do anything he wanted with me, so I needed to sit back and enjoy.

"I also found the Black vault empty of everything."

"Yep converted everything to cash and put it into the Potter vault."

"But there are hardly any Galleons in the Potter vault."

"Yep the wife's got some expensive tastes, I did tell you she is out shopping didn't I?"

"Well you will now forced me to sell Potter Manor and the rest of your properties."

"Sorry your too late, all sold and gone, wife's has expensive tastes."

I was very rich but after I had transferred all the money to the Gnome Bank and to various muggle banks. The Potter vaults were significantly reduced. Since then I bought a ranch, clothes and trips on what was left in the Goblins vaults. After sending June in to grab what she could, I was surprised I wasn't overdrawn on the account.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14-The tasks are so hard

The Second Task:

I took off my shoes, stepped into the water. I took out my wand and said 'accio Potter's hostage'.

When nothing happened I said "Way to cold to survive, and my spell didn't work, I'm done, catch you' all latter. I 'slid' to London, hopped on the tube and then took a taxi to Heathrow airport and booked a flight to New York. From New York I hopped a plane to Las Vegas international. I then 'slid' home.

June decided on welcoming the escaping hero…

{Lemon scene to keep it interesting}

Hermione's letter came via the Gnome mail drop. She let me know when the next task was and…

Harry you cannot believe the kayos that you have started here. Dumbledore started out trying to read everyone's minds that he considered your friend.  
Here's Daphne: Harry my father said Dumbledore got the Ministry to authorize Veritaserum but father says that the word got out and they had to rescind the order.  
Here's Tracy: You got another zero on the second task. We all miss you, have fun.

Hermione, Tracey, Daphne  
P.S. Draco was your hostage in the lake.

I had Honeydukes send each girl a super large box of their best chocolate.

/Scene Break/

It was vacation time and we enjoyed. From the beach to gambling casinos, dinning in the finest restaurants and just having as much fun as possible. I kept up an exercise regiment and of course June joined with me. One day in a Magical alley in Egypt we spied the news paper. There on the fount cover was a picture of Harry Potter with scar and spiky hair. Harry was wanted for being in violation to an English law and there was a huge reward.

"You were right those people are out of their minds. Do you think we could collect the reward if I turned you in? Then you could escape and we could do it all over again. I bet we could do it a number of times before they caught on."

"I think it's like our pictures showing our selves under glamour charms while we walk around without glamour unnoticed. They see what they want to see."

"What do you think they will do when you turn up for the third task?"

"First off you don't get to go; I am going invisibly for a couple of days to see what they are up to if I can. I have a worry that they will try to change the date or stop me from participating and causing me to lose my magic."

"I don't think they can stop you from participating. This is a magical contract so magic will probable take revenge on whoever stops you.

"I also have to figure out how to louse up the third task."

"I don't think Death realized what he did when he turned you loose."

"Thanks dear I love you too."

/Scene Break/

Hogwarts two days before the task:

I 'slid' onto the Hogwarts grounds invisible to anyone who was around. I saw the maze that would be used in the third task so I 'slid' to where the Tri-wizard trophy would be stationed. I picked up a pebble and said 'portus' then tossed it into the air and said 'activate'. It disappeared showing that port-keys were able to work as the papers had said in? It kind of hit me, I then asked myself, in the last life? In the last time line? AND what happens if this time gets #$#&ed up?

I shook my head and checked what traps were already installed. As I was about to leave I saw Kingley and Hesta Jones heading to the castle so I followed them to the Headmasters office. I had lucked out or fate had arranged an Order of the Phoenix meeting. When I walked in Fawkes turned towards me and followed me to where stopped to listen in, he did not make a peep but continued to stare.

"Alright let's have some order!" Dumbledore started. "Now this is probably the last chance we will have to easily pick up Potter. I must officially start each contestant and if he is not there to start when I say he will lose his magic. If you see him do not try to stop him or magic will hurt you. Once he is in the Maze we should be able to grab him. Watch out for the Aurors, the Minister has authorized some nasty curses for use on him if he resists arrest."

"How many Aurors are we going to be dealing with? I don't want be caught snatching some one in front of them." Doge stated.

"There are going to be around twenty Aurors. Don't do anything that will get you caught but we must get Potter. I need not remind you that Potter is the key to defeating Voldemort but first I must control how he is taught we definitely don't want another Dark Lord running around."

The meeting broke up not long after everyone had gotten their assignments. I was about ready to 'slide' when Dumbledore started talking to Fawkes, "I wonder what Voldemort is going to do in this third task? The question Fawkes is Voldemort going to capture or kill Harry? Either way Harry Potter will be dead and I can get hold of the Potter estate. All I have to do is find out which Gringotts vault he has put all those beautiful galleons."

I 'slid' to London and a proper dinner at McDonald's. While munching on some fries I had a brilliantly stupid idea and 'slid' as Harry Potter back to Hogwarts right into Gryffindor's common room. I said hi to Hermione and gave her a warning to pass it on to all our friends and 'slid' to the Slytherin common room and said hi to Daphne and Tracey. From there I did a quick stop at Ravenclaw for Luna and Huffelpuff for Hannah. I made myself invisible by the gargoyle for the fun to start. So as the teachers, Perfects and Dumbledore did a race to each common room, which then turned into a search of the castle, I 'slid' to London and got a room as Harold Jimmy Evans.

The next morning I was chatting with the waitress in the Hotel restaurant and she let slip the Hotel was in financial trouble. That got me to the manager and within an hour I had someone who could be dealt with. I got some facts and wrote a letter to the Kleinmanneken Banken and told them I wanted the hotel bought and the top floor reserved for my families use only, remodeling instructions would follow. I hopefully had one last battle coming and then I could spend a life making a family. Besides how could I after looking in Deaths face not laugh at the eleven story Hotels name? "Corrigan Hotel and Rest Retreat"…in magic Corrigan was a spirit found in Brittany, often associated with phantoms of the dead.

Disclaimer:  
All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc.  
The original characters and plot are the property of the author i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc.  
This work is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
Not for sale or profit but my for entertainment.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15—The Final battle, task three

On the day of the third task I arrived at breakfast. I was hoping that these idiots would not tempt magic's ire by taking me on, I was wrong. No sooner than I 'slid' into the Great hall than one of the Aurors fired a curse at me. I put up my shield but it was of no use. The curse fizzled half way to me and the Auror attempted another spell and got nothing. It appeared that magic's binding contract had the intent that I participate. The Aurors attempt was to stop me, he lost his magic, the question would be for how long.

"Harry why are you telling us girls not to attend the third task?" asked Hermione as the other girls joined us at the Gryffindor table. First there are twenty-two foot hedges in that maze so I doubt you will see anything. Secondly I have a bad feeling about this task." I had checked out the maze and had laid a few traps myself that would not affect the champions. It was a shame that only the Headmaster could affect the ward on Hogwarts grounds as I had a few that I would like to have installed.

"What could go wrong besides getting eaten by one of Hagrid's creatures? Daphne laughed.

"Have you noticed that there are Aurors here and Dumbledork's Order of the Phoenix? Since this is a semi-open house day I wonder how many Deatheaters are here in the crowd. I replied.

"Yeh, I saw Draco's father entering the castle so that's at least one Deatheater." Tracey added.

"So my lovely ladies what would happen if all three groups decided to duke it out here on the Quittage pitch?

I received a lot of nods and a promise to view from the top of the Gryffindor turret. I had a hearty last mans breakfast and headed out to the maze on the once beautiful Quittage pitch.

/Scene Break/

"So distinguished guests, teachers and students it's the task that will decide the winner of the tri-wizard tournament." Dumbledore announced and they all cheered.

"The first champion to go in will be Harry Potter followed by Cedrick Diggory two minutes later. Victor Krum with follow a minute later and Miss Fleur Delacour will follow a minute after that. Good luck to all the champions." The crowd again cheers their champions.

Now you might ask the same question that I was asking, How does a person with zero points go first ?

I entered and at the first challenge I shot a stunner at the thing and fired my red sparks and left the maze the way I came in. I used the 'sonorus' charm and said, "Well I tried but it was just too tough for me". I quickly 'slid' to meet the girls watching the tournament from the turret.

"Decided to join the looser section there Harry?" joked Tracey.

"Don't joke about thinks like that…" Hermione was cut off before she could continue.

"LOOK!" Daphne yelled.

The hedge walls of the maze were falling from the middle outward and it became quite clear after a very short time that Deatheaters were charging out of the maze. The battle was on and the curses flew.

Anti-apperation wards stopped 'apperation'. Anti-port-key wards stopped port-keys. The problem with the maze was if you could port-key out so you could also port-key in and the Deatheaters did. The traps that I laid for the Deatheaters lowered their numbers but they still had the advantage. Panic was the best word to describe the fleeing students, teacher and by-standers. They fled to the castle as everyone knew it was the safest place in England.

The Deatheaters moved towards the castle right behind the fleeing. The Deatheaters were only slowed by those few who could or would fight. Then the magnificent Voldemort appeared behind his wall of Deatheaters safe in the opinion of his superior magnificence.

The time looked like right, the place looked right, and I am blowing smoke. It was just fight or flight time as there were enough people dieing, I 'slid' down and joined the insanity. Curses were flying and people were screaming, crying and cursing. I disabled about six Deatheaters before Voldemort noticed me and the fight was on. It could be called a fight but it was more me throwing curses and spells and Voldemort casually batting them away or causing them to miss or be blocked or shielded. Even though he had me dancing away from many of his curses I continued to cast curses as fast as I could. Even with my super wand of destiny I was not getting anywhere he had too many years of experience over me. Even my 'fulgur desuper' (lighting from above) was diverted from Voldemort.

That is when I 'slid' behind Voldemort and sent a two curses and a 'stupify' at his back. Don't ask me! It just felt like the right spells to send and in hind sight it was. He turned and blocked the first two but somehow the 'stupify' got through and Voldemort litterly fell to pieces. The papers say that I used an evil dark curse and covered it with the 'stupify'. I really thought that if he could be captured he could pay for his crimes, no! I was just throwing the kitchen sink and hoping something would stick or hit.

Shouts filled the air and then there was a new panic. Deatheaters were fleeing except a few who thought they could beat Death's wand. One 'Flammis aeternitate' cleared the field of battle more so than I ever thought it could but then…

"Ah Harry, your time has come" Twinkled the one and only Albus Dumbledore.

"I thought that your opening line was…"Mr. Potter, please follow me to my office."

"Yes well here is my closing line for you, 'Avada Kedavra'.

Had I ever trusted the old goat I would had frozen at hearing those words but I don't trust him so I was able to dodge and cast a 'Diffindo' which left Dumbledore with his mouth hanging open. I had just cut his wand of destiny in half.

"Have a nice life there Dumbdumb as I think this will be the last time you see me and I 'slid' away.

/Scene Break/

I 'slid' to Gringotts France and used their international 'floe' to the Gringotts closest to my ranch. As I 'slid' into the house I got a double blast. First was June jumping on me and kissing me to the point of asphyxiation. The second was her shouting with joy…

"The med-witch says I'm pregnant with twins"

I woke a few seconds later being deluged with kisses. I think I fainted either from the asphyxiation or the news, I am not really sure.

You would think that given my fragile state of fragmentizing Voldemort, and finding I am going to be a father of twins, Sam wouldn't drags both of us to that room of his, but that's where we were.

"Congratulation Harry you have made me very happy".

"Err?"

"Voldemort was so weakened by all the Horicuxes you eliminated that he was unable to hold himself together. The last piece he used was barely strong enought to hold together the rituals and body parts he used to gain a body. He arrived here along with the rest of his pieces. I was overjoyed that you send me the pieces of the elder wand."

"Don't understand?" I mumbled.

"Do the math; you don't just snip off a bit of the soul here and there. The first time he split his soul in half. The second time he made a horcruxe he split his soul in half again or better said into two quarters. Now keep cutting the thing for a total of seven horcruxe you don't have much left. Since he was nothing but pieces of bodies glued together by soul magic, not enough soul, not enough magic to hold his body together. So have a life and don't bother me again."

And then we were back home at the ranch. I had a question flash across my mind. Did Sam move our bodies or just move our minds to his room? I wasn't going back to ask him so I turned my thoughts to June.

"I hope that is the last time for that." I pulled June onto my lap and gave her a nice kiss.

"Are you alright with the kids coming?"

"Very happy my love, you said twins?"

"Yes a boy and a girl according to the med-witch."

"Well let's see, we have this nice sized ranch for the kid to play on, maybe with a couple of horses. Then there is the sea side place in France for summer fun. Then there is the surprise place I just bought for you to design. We can put in everything from a pool to swing sets and…" I got shut upped by a kiss that lasted quite late into the night.

/Scene Break/

You would think that Dumbledore would be in trouble for the unforgivable curse. Nope Harry Potter was listed as a dark lord in England.

I wish I could tell you that the population revolted and did in all the Deatheaters and made a society that everyone could be proud of, sorry didn't happen. The only connection that I have is a few surviving friends. Those friends spend most of their time out of England and they only return because of their family homes or friends. I had sold all my English properties and all that I own is now in America and France well except for a hotel in London. There are still outstanding warrants for Harry Potter but you see there is no Harry Potter of the Ancient and Noble house of Potter. Mr. and Mrs. Harold Jimmy Evans and their four children are known around the world for their charity work. Even England's purebloods are happy to attend fund-raising parties thrown at the Corrigan Hotel and Rest Retreat ball room. A lot has to do with the Magical economy. The contemptible Potters removed all their money from England which almost bankrupted the Goblin clan of England along with most of the purebloods of Magical England. Gringotts only has a skeleton staff because there is a knut to make in a land that won't wake up.

We live a comfortable life; there is no looking over our shoulders for Dumbledore or the Aurors. In fact I met Dumbledore just last week at a charity affair. He is the same and tried a surface scan but my barriers are quite good. He still looks for Harry Potter. That Harry Potter 'glamor' charm has no more use or purpose.

About ten years later:

The owls for Lily and James Potter appeared in the magical book at Hogwarts of children eligible to attend school. Their letters returned with a cryptic answer, "No such number no such phone, they will attend a different magical school, "bumbler."

That answer started a school by school check but no Potter children ever turned up. The howl that arose when the Dailey Profit told the population of England that the Potter children would not attend an English school but it was soon forgotten.

fin


End file.
